Skip over navigation

7 Sequels We'd Rather Not See

7 Sequels We'd Rather Not See

By Rebecca Jane Stokes

Sometimes a movie is so good that just one isn't enough—see The Hunger Games ("WE NEED MORE ARENA") The Hobbit ("OH MY GOD YOU MEAN CUMBERBATCH ISN'T EVEN IN THE FIRST ONE?"), and Harry Potter ("HOGWARTS 4 LYFE!). But way more often, a movie does its job in 90 minutes, and doesn't require a four-movie franchise deal to make its point (we're looking at you, Pirates of The Caribbean). Here are seven movie sequels we could go a lifetime without ever seeing. I mean, surely there are some Adventure Time reruns we could all watch instead?

1. Babe: Pig In Prison. One talking pig was cute, two talking pigs we could overlook because of the singing mice, but a third installment in the series, about a talking pig who's locked up for murder, getting face tattoos of bacon (double-creepy) and shanking guards in the mess hall? I think not.

2. High School Musical: XVIII. In this installment of the classic High School Musical series, the members are retiring to separate nursing home facilities across the country. Should they gather together and sing once more? Absolutely not. Also, they've killed off Zac Efron, and one of the musical numbers is set at his inappropriately jazz-handsy funeral.

3. 30 Going On 13 Months. In this not-so-hilarious sequel to the Jennifer Garner hit 13 Going on 30, the 30-year- old magazine maven with a heart of gold had a late night, and doesn't want to get up in the morning. "God," she moans, "I wish I was still a baby." Then she transforms into a baby, and that's the whole movie.

4. Batman Again. Who doesn't love the Dark Knight? Everyone, after they're forced to watch this movie featuring Batman strolling around in costume, going to the deli to buy milk, then flourishing his cape ominously as he goes.

5. On The Road Some More. This sequel to the indie adaptation of Jack Kerouac classic On The Road is back for more—only this time there's less sexy K-Stew, and a whole lot more inexplicable car chases.

6. Drive: Keep On Driving. In this sequel to the popular Ryan Gosling vehicle (hilarious pun alert) Drive, we learn the origins of Ryan Gosling's driver character, as we watch him play with trucks at his daycare. Then, he knocks a child out with a toy car.

7. The Help: The Butlers' Revenge. While the award-winning film The Help, about domestic life during the civil rights era, touched our hearts, this sequel jumps across the pond. There, it will unbend legions of stiff upper lips, as England weeps over the plight of its under appreciated butlers.

What movies should NEVER be given a sequel?

Topics: Celebs & Stuff
Tags: movies, high school musical, batman, hollywood, sequels, ridiculous things, bad ideas, the help

Write your own comment!