Skip over navigation

10 Signs You're Actually the King of Summer

10 Signs You're Actually the King of Summer

By Melissa Albert

Are you having a good summer? Or are you having the best summer? If your break's been so awesome that CNN just made you their teen summer fun correspondent, then it's quite possible that you are actually the KING OF SUMMER. Here are more signs to help you determine whether you're seasonal royalty:

1. Bikini models keep asking for your workout secrets, even though the answer is "arm lifts when bringing popsicle to mouth."

2. Lifeguards keep getting rescued by YOU.

3. Bluebirds have been helping you put on your swimsuit coverup, and a bunch of squirrels dressed up as your crush so you could practice asking him out.

4. Your sunburn is in the shape of the Hemsworth brothers. You're doing your best not to make out with it.

5. It turns out your sweat contains a fat-burning ingredient previously unknown to man. Scientists are now following you around with beakers and bags of cash.

6. Ben & Jerry's just released a limited-edition flavor named after you: Mrs. Logan Lerman Peanut Butter Fudge.

7. JJ Abrams called to ask for your help casting the next Star Wars, and wants to make sure its release date works around your school schedule.

8. Turns out your school was built atop a previously undetected fault line. After a recent, extremely targeted earthquake, classes are gonna be postponed for a while.

9. Joseph Gordon-Levitt will be starring as an ice-cream man in an upcoming movie, and recently decided to do some undercover method research. In your neighborhood. He's quickly become familiar with your love for ice-cream sandwiches.

10. You just discovered a time-space portal in your Netflix queue, allowing you to access season 3 of Sherlock. Fun in the sun (and food, and sleep) can wait.

Topics: Life
Tags: summer, summer vacation, awesome things, funny things

Write your own comment!


Write your own comment!


About the Author
Melissa Albert

Melissa Albert reads books, worries about other people’s dogs (they look thirsty), and eats horrible candy for fun and profit. When not wearing her extremely tasteful Sparkitor hat, she’s an editor for the Barnes & Noble Book Blog. You can find her on Twitter @mimi_albert, or in the hot pretzel section of your local cafeteria.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.

From Our Partners