Show Me The (Jane Austen) Money
Thus proving once again to the rest of the world that they do indeed dwell in a land of perpetual tea parties and storybook splendor, England has announced that it will be putting Jane Austen on its currency beginning in 2017. This is awesome for roughly eight million reasons. These reasons include the awesomeness of Anne Elliot, the hilarious ridiculousness of Mr. Collins, and the fact that Jane will be bumping Darwin off a bill, supporting our long-held belief that romantic comedies of manners do indeed trump the theory of evolution. And while, yes, there is something to the argument that the people of England would be better served by having a shirtless Mr. Darcy on all their monies, Jane Austen is a lady—and there should always be more ladies on currency. (Please excuse me while I go hug my Sacajawea silver dollars.) While we wait for Miss Austen to make her appearance, here are four more English ladies we would love to see on our bills the next time we visit the bank:
1. Gillian Anderson. Sure, she was born in Chicago, but she lives in London—and have you heard her speak lately? Girl is giving Madonna a run for her money where fake British accents are concerned. Additionally: The X-Files. That is all.
2. Elizabeth I. I've got two words for you, and neither of them is "Virgin Queen": SPANISH ARMADA—EVER HEARD OF IT? Let's give it up for this red-headed warrior.
3. Julie Andrews. The hills may not, in fact, have eyes—but they ARE alive! Not with the sound of music, but with the passionate love we feel for this singing, comedy-doing actress. Whisk us away, Mary Poppins, while we dream of spending dollars with your face on them for bagel dogs!
4. Jane Goodall. Fine, scientists of the world, fine. We hear you, and we're sorry we hurt Darwin's feelings. Please kiss his head for us, and accept the addition of this groundbreaking primatologist to the currency roster as a peace offering.
What other famous faces would you want to see adorning all the moneys?