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21 Horrible Humble Brag Tweets

21 Horrible Humble Brag Tweets

By RG Daniels

Humble brags aren't fooling ANY OF US! We can't stand them anymore—and we have a feeling you're with us, Sparklers. Here are the types of humble Bs we'll see right through:

1. "Just got 4 free tickets to Lollapalooza. Not looking forward to being in the sun all day…"

2. "Welp, I've been hired to work all summer at Cartoon Network and they're letting me pick which new shows they should air. 10 hours a day. Lucky me."

3. "Parents bought me a Nissan Pathfinder for graduation. Um, hello? Ever hear of the environment? Woulda rather had a Prius…"

4. "My job pays only 6 bucks an hour to test new video games all day. #Poor #NeedMoney #Ugh"

5. "On my way to see Beyonce with a backstage pass, but seriously? 20 bucks for parking?"

6. "2350 on my SATs. Hoping my parents don't flip about not getting 2400…"

7. "FUH-REAKING OUT!! I just met Jimmy Fallon, but he TOTALLY got my name wrong. I can never win."

8. "Looks like I'm going to Stanford this Fall. Not bad… still not Harvard, though."

9. "Great. I finally get comfortable with my iPhone after months of using it, and my parents go out and buy me the updated model. #FML"

10. "In case you're wondering, I'll be alone and bored all night as I babysit 2 kids in a mansion with a Jacuzzi and home theater. #WorkSucks"

11. "Currently hanging out with my dad and Jennifer Lawrence (one of his clients), but she just keeps asking me about school. Blah blah blah… #Blah"

12. "My new moped has a flat tire :*( "

13. "Well this is just great. The pizza guy delivered 2 extra pizzas for free, but one has ONIONS on it! Puke!"

14. "On college tour, this kept hitting on me even though i was like 'i'm just a prospi!' hate when guys don't listen!"

15. "Can't believe I only got an A- on that Trig test. I know most people didn't do as well, but I still feel like crap."

16. "Mom INSISTS I take a trip to Paris this summer that she'll pay for. WHEN WILL SHE BUTT OUT OF MY LIFE???"

17. "Just got invited to a pre-screening of the new Hunger Games movie, but I have to bring my Dad. Yuck."

18. "I found 20 dollars on the floor, but it looks so gross. #Ew #Gross"

19. "College shopping with Mom and she won't stop putting things in the cart. Calm down, Mom!"

20. "Ugh, guess I'm in a relationship with my crush now. No more excitement for me."

21. "Someone said i look like a model. too bad i'm not. :/"

Topics: Life
Tags: twitter, annoying things, lists, humble brags

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About the Author
RG Daniels

RG Daniels is a writer living in Brooklyn, NY. He likes ‘90s one-hit wonders, breakfast for dinner, and koala bears. He is currently on Level 163 in Candy Crush.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.