If I were to say to you, "Benedict Cumberbatch is the best!," you would not bat an eye, for verily, this is irrefutable fact. From his deep dulcet tones, to his captivating gaze, there isn't much (read: anything) about this dude we don't approve of. Well, maybe one thing—that he isn't in every movie ever made. Here are some already great films (and a total clunker or two) that could only have been improved by his mad skills and gorgeous face-meats.
1. Star Wars: Episode IV. Sure, it might be verging on blasphemy to suggest any changes to the original Star Wars canon, but come oooon. I’d settle for a cameo of Cumby showing up to play Biggs Darklighter, Luke’s childhood friend. The only thing "hotter" than the burnt remains of Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru? The steamy gaze of BC as Biggs.
2. Overboard. There is little to nothing not to love about this hilarious 1980s classic, about an amnesiac rich woman tricked into doing the bidding of a sexy Kurt Russell. We'd be down with subbing her out for some confused Benny, being coerced into thinking he's Russell’s butler. Then we would sub out Russell for ourselves, and request a foot massage.
3. Labyrinth. We would never in a million years suggest banishing David Bowie from the role of Jareth the Goblin King. But let's face it: more is more. Why not cast Cumberbatch as Bowie’s equally codpiece-proud goblin prince of a son? TOO SEXY! Man, let’s get on this. And by "this" we mean the remake, not the codpiece.
5. Twilight...can I say it? Let’s all quietly imagine a world where he played Edward Cullen. QUIET EVERYONE. We can fight about it later, but just, just take a minute. Now someone quickly 'shop me a pic of him with fangs for....reasons.
6. The Lord of the Rings. Sure, he’s present in the Tolkien universe as Smaug. But if the mere promise of his presence in the second Hobbit film got that many people that excited, can you imagine a universe where we never met Orlando Bloom and it was all BC all the time? LONG BLOND HAIR FOR THE WIN GUYS.
7. Amélie. Get rid of Audrey Tatou and sub in Cumberbatch! Because this involves him speaking French. adfjadsfjfafl;gkh. Sorry, we just passed out on our keyboard. He can even keep the Amélie haircut, which will only further prove that there is almost nothing he can do to make himself unattractive.
8. When Harry Met Sally... More like, When Harry Met Benny. Look, I love Billy Crystal, and I love Benedict Cumberbatch. I make no apologies, except to Meg Ryan. You were pretty good, Meg, but it's time for the Batch to show you how it's really done.
9. The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones. This isn’t even out yet and I am fully confident he would be amazing in it. Admittedly I'm biased, because I pictured him as the villainous Valentine. But I mean, I guess if it can’t be him, I will accept Jonathan Rhys Meyers. Eeeee I just got excited!
10. Home Alone. “Oh no! Somebody left Benedict Cumberbatch home alone! And now robbers are trying to break in! And he’s using aftershave for the first time, that loveable scamp! And what if we brought over pizza and some videos, just to hang out for a while?” The idea sells itself.
What other movies would be improved by the addition of Cumberbatch?