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Friday Awards: Too Darn Hot!

Friday Awards: Too Darn Hot!

By Abbey Clarke

Yay, weekend! We don’t know about you, Sparklers, but our weekend plans involve barricading ourselves in our homes and making nice with our air conditioners. It is HOT outside! Or, as the poets would say, it’s too darn hot.

You know what else is too darn hot?

YOU GUYS.

And as if it wasn’t hot enough in here already, we’re going to make it even more intense by bringing together the best of the best comments from this week in one scorchingly awesome-tastic post. Hold onto your oven mitts, because here we go!

First we have the Best Mood-Killer Award going to AprilBloom for this comment on our post about horrible things to say before kissing someone:

I'm training to be a dementor.

Yeah, that would definitely not put me in the mood to pucker up! Next we have the Best Pickup Line going to Cumberbatch101 for this comment on our post about BBQ pickup lines:

Have you been grilling cause you look smoking...

Don't judge me.

Trust us, Cumbie, no one’s judging. In fact… *pulls out notebook and pencil* …feel free to let us know if you have more ideas…

The Best Movie Pitch We’ve Heard All Summer Award goes to Atlas96 for this comment on our post 6 Blockbusters to Follow Sharknado:

Cowpocalypse Now

Cows go to Vietnam and act out Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness. They love the smell of napalm in the morning. Mooo!

That’ll be great! This movie could get everyone reading Heart of Darkness in exactly the same way that Leonardo DiCaprio movie had everyone reading (or rereading) The Great Gatsby! Right? Right????

Anyway, moving on. MayimBialikRulz gets the Best Use of the Sarcasm Hand Award for this comment on this post about signs that a friendship won’t last:

Go hating fun! Work is the best medicine for all ills, including fatigue and stress so when you're feeling overworked, just work some more and your symptoms will go away. Throw away all food and medicine in favor of this all natural, organic, and negative-calorie solution!

*sarcasm hand. When I'm off from my job I do nothing but trivia quizzes and occasionally helping my mom.

Finally, last but not least, we have the Poet’s Heart Award going to Whoniverse11 for this comment on our post about Benedict Cumberbatch’s new role:

Your crown looks like it is made of fairy tears and unicorn drool. It's beautiful.

We’re glad you guys like the new crowns! We’ve been working on them for a while, and it’s great to finally see them getting some use. Well, ya’ll have a wonderful weekend. Just don’t get sunstroke!

Do you have a favorite new crown? Let us know in the comments!

Topics: Life, The Internets
Tags: awards, sparklers, the friday awards, friday, friday awards

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About the Author
Abbey Clarke

Abbey Clarke is a writer and editorial assistant living in Jersey City. She's a player on a D&D podcast called Knife Errant, wrote her senior thesis on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and is working on a novel about a semi-reformed demon who runs a library. You can follow her on Twitter at @abbeybookaholic.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.