I JUST DON'T HAVE THE SURVIVAL SKILLS. I WOULD DIE.
And if I didn't die, you would almost certainly kill me within the first 24 hours. My wheezy mouth-breathing and tendency to sweat uncontrollably when I'm stressed (and when I'm not stressed, and when I'm reading quietly, and when I'm sleeping) would pretty much guarantee that we'd be worst enemies before the sun went down, and last week's awesome submissions proved that you don't take too kindly to having your worst enemy by your side on deserted stretch of land in the middle of the ocean.
Vampirekyawl's chilling tale of a man's slow descent into madness took top honors, and you can check out Reid Faylor's illustrated accompaniment later today—but for now, let's find out who won all the other stuffs!