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Friday Awards: WE'RE ALIVE!!!!

Friday Awards: WE'RE ALIVE!!!!

By Abbey Clarke

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Helloooooo, my dearest Sparklers! We here at SparkLife have all survived this year’s outing of the patriotic, firework-toting hordes of spirited mead-drinking Americans, more commonly known as July Fourth, Independence Day. Well, all but Josh…

Kidding! Nobody is dead, and we hope that you are as alive and well as we all are. And now that we’ve established that we’re all alive, it’s time to celebrate with some Friday Awards!!!!!111!!!

First up, Best Anti-Haterade goes to FoxfaceSokolov for this comment on Auntie’s post about a racist friend:

Girlfriend: "Do you want a white baby, then?"
Tashacarolina: "It'll be my kid, it doesn't matter what skin colour it has."
Him: "She can't HAVE a white baby anyway. So there's no point wanting one."
Me: "Yeah, I guess having a non-white baby is definitely much worse than having a baby who wants to dress like a pointy fire ghost."

Most Quality Fangirl Use of the Word “Nargles” is respectfully awarded to AngelFlightMuse for this comment on Chelsea Dagger’s slideshow celebration of Benedict Cumberbatch:

I LOOOOOOOOVE him as Sherlock!!! Oh my nargles, that show killed my feels, but it's okay because BENNY BATCH AND HIS BEAUTIFUL CHEEKBONES

Best Lady Mondegreen of this week is generously granted to vampirekyawl for this comment on “Who’s Pregnant, and Who’s Mad About Tabloid Lies?”:

When I first read the title, I saw "Who's mad pregnant?" I tried to read it again, and saw the same thing. But third time's the charm!

On the same post, RadicalWhimsy posted this comment, which wins Best Opening Line to THE ATTACK OF THE MUTANT KILLER FRINGE-FACES Fanfic:

Is it just me, or are Lea Michele's bangs getting a little out of control there? Soon there'll be more fringe than face.

The Pah-REACH It, Sister! Award goes to Gallivanting_Gadzooks for this comment on this post about summer movie clichés that we wish would DIE:

I'm also tired of the nerd girl transformations! I mean it was cool in Princess Diaries, but seeing the "unattractive" nerdy girl end up as society's definition of gorgeous again and again starts to get old. There's no surprise anymore!

There should be more movies where the nerdy guy takes off his glasses and ends up supermegafoxyawesomehot by society's standards!

And last but not least, the That’d Better Be Sarcasm, Buster Award goes to the suspiciously-nicknamed DeathToSparklife for this post on our ZOMG BREAK THE BANK GOTTA HAVE ‘EM ALL slideshow of literature-inspired fashion items:

What is literature? Is it like Twilight?

….yeah. Guess that that depends upon your definition of literature, yo!

Well, that’s all for this week, my dear Sparklers! Congratulations to this week’s winners, and may you all have a wonderful Friday!

Go forth and be awesome, Friampions!

Topics: Life, The Internets
Tags: awards, sparklers, the friday awards, friday, friday awards

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About the Author
Abbey Clarke

Abbey Clarke is a writer and editorial assistant living in Jersey City. She's a player on a D&D podcast called Knife Errant, wrote her senior thesis on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and is working on a novel about a semi-reformed demon who runs a library. You can follow her on Twitter at @abbeybookaholic.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.