Getting a babysitting gig is basically the easiest thing in the world: all you have to do is be a reasonably well-kept teenager who knows a desperate enough mother and BAM! You're in charge of someone else's demon spawn for a few hours. But just because you can babysit doesn't mean you should babysit. Take this quiz and find out of you're SparkLife-approved to be responsible for children.
1. Realistically, a babysitter should...
a. Watch over the kids constantly; you never know when they might need you.
b. Watch them most of the time, but don't get freaky about it—it's not like they're made of glass, after all.
c. Watch them when they're in the same room as you, but don't put much effort into it. You've got homework to do!
d. Literally sit on the kids—at least they can't get into trouble this way!
2. When one of your charges cries, what do you do?
a. Comfort them and hover for the rest of the day. You're not above swaddling if it seems necessary.
b. Try to fix what's wrong, but hey, sometimes kids just cry, right?
c. Ignore it. Eventually the pain will subside and they'll move on.
d. Mock their tears and tell them to get over it—tough love makes them stronger!
3. If the kids you babysit chose an animal to describe you, it would probably be...
a. A sheepdog: warm, caring, and watchful.
b. A panda: really cool, keeps its distance.
c. A cat: chill and uninterested.
d. A lion: fierce, powerful, and totally in control.
4. When you play games with the kids, it's usually...
a. Math Jeopardy! It's never too early to learn derivatives, after all.
b. Whatever the kids want to play, especially if it involves coloring books.
c. Hide and seek—they hide, and you count to a million.
d. Bootcamp: the game might be pretend, but the barbed wire is totally real.
5. To put the younglings to bed, you...
a. Feed them warm milk and honey and sing them lullabies until they drift off.
b. Read them a story if you're feeling ambitious, but mostly you just turn the lights out and say goodnight.
c. Tell them to go to bed, then invite your friend over to hang out while they sleep. Well! Loneliness is NOT part of the job!
d. Turn on the scariest movie you own to make sure they're too terrified to stay up. BOOM.
6. When the little angels start fist-fighting, you...
a. Sit them down and explain what they did wrong, then continue lecturing for the rest of the day.
b. Send them to their rooms, but laugh internally—kids will be kids.
c. Ignore it. As long as no one needs immediate medical attention, the parents can deal with it.
d. Encourage them. Roughhousing builds character.
7. Your favorite thing to read them is...
a. Plato's Ethics, but anything with a good, strong moral will do.
b. A nice, short fairytale you made up on the spot.
c. Whatever you happen to be currently reading. If you're interested, they should be too!
d. The New York Times—it's never too early to begin learning the horrors of the real world.
If you scored...
Mostly As: You're a great babysitter! But...maybe too great. You tend to be a bit overbearing, not to mention a tad bit boring. Do everyone a favor and lighten up a tad. The kids you babysit are starting to refer to you as Teen Dictator behind your back.
Mostly Bs: You're every kid's favorite babysitter. You're just involved enough to be responsible, but relaxed enough to be cool. When you're not there, the kids pretend they're you (but, like, in space or something). The parents may be a bit worried that you don't hover enough, but you've got it under control.
Mostly Cs: You're not the ideal babysitter, but we suppose you'll do in a pinch (for example, when the zombie apocalypse annihilates all the other babysitters). We're not sure we'd call what you do "watching" the kids so much as being on the same block as them, but it is better than nothing. Barely.
Mostly Ds: You are the worst babysitter ever. You're terrifying and maybe a little bit cruel, not to mention totally clueless about kids. Please stay away from children, okay? We're begging you. Or at least take a quick lesson from us: "Babysitter" does not literally mean "one who sits on baby."
What's your babysitting philosophy?