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Top 9 Signs You're Over Him

Top 9 Signs You're Over Him

There it was: the picture-perfect teen romance and then BOOM, out of nowhere it ended, leaving your heart racing and your head spinning, because seriously what just happened? You asked around and yes, according to your friends and family, you did indeed date. And yes, it looked awesome from the outside. But now it’s over. Actually, it’s been over for a while, but what is time when you are in the throes of love-withdrawl? Lately though, you’ve been feeling a little different, a little lighter, a little bit more on-the-market. Are you over him? Is that even possible? Well, we’re here to help make some sense of these new feelings of freedom and hope. Here are the top nine signs you’re over him:

1. You haven’t visited his Facebook page in, like, a really long time. The best part? This lapse of cyber-stalking wasn’t even on purpose! Sure, in the beginning you would set limits for yourself, only once a day woman, get ahold of yourself! But those days of self limitation are over. You haven’t visited and it’s because you haven’t even thought about his Facebook wall or who’s liking what and where. A perfect lesson in faking-it-until-you-make-it.

2. You stopped painting the mural of his face on your bedroom wall. You got half-way through and decided to make it a landscape instead. Now you have a mountain that is clearly a giant nose and your rising sun sort of looks like and ear BUT COME ON PEOPLE, IT’S ART.

3. You stopped writing your first name and his last name everywhere. School work. Books. Bathroom walls. Your brother’s face.

4. You stopped sniffing that old shirt of his. Well, what actually happened is that your mom found it hidden in the back of your closet and thought it was dirty laundry so she washed it THUS RELEASING THAT ENCHANTING SMELL AND RUINING YOUR FAVORITE NIGHTTIME CUDDLE BUDDY. But whatevs, it’s gone now and no longer has power over you.

5. You can’t remember the color of his eyes or where that weird mole on his arm is actually located. You DO remember that he has eyes and you DO remember that he has arms...but the details of said traits? No idea.

6. You got the tattoo of his name removed. Wait, are you even old enough to get a tattoo?

7. You stopped making future plans for your reconciliation dinner. As soon as he realizes he doesn’t want to date a cheerleader, he’ll come running back to me and we’ll have a romantic, candle lit dinner at Olive Garden! Or wherever you imagined your reconciliation place to be, you’ve stopped thinking about it, hell you even forgot the long speech you wrote about the joy of forgiveness for when he came crawling back, which brings us to...

8. You stopped writing him letters you never planned on sending him. Somewhere is one of your mom’s countless self-help books, you read one time that if someone hurts you, you should write them a letter, but don’t send it! You have four garbage bags full of tear-stained, over dramatic missives about true, young love. (Head’s up: throw these away now before A) your adult-self finds them and winces at the time lost pining after that guy who’s biggest achievement ended up being managing a Quiznos. Or B) Your little brother finds them and turns them into a Tumblr.

9. You forgot his name. Seriously, who are we talking about?

Are you over him?

Topics: Life
Tags: relationships, breakups, lists, being single

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About the Author
Ashley Brooke Roberts

Ashley Brooke Roberts is a stand-up comedian, writer, and actor living in Brooklyn. She's a performer at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater and can usually be found smiling at random dogs on the street. Follow her on twitter at @AshleyBRoberts.

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