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The Pros and Cons of Being a Child Prodigy

The Pros and Cons of Being a Child Prodigy

By Jennifer Grudziecki

You, Sparkler, are a child prodigy. How do we know? Well, it's that mischievous twinkle in your eye, that twitch in your eyebrow that says you're equal parts crazed-but-kind inventor and madly misguided scientist...okay, and we may have snuck into your school's records department and read your file. Either way, there are pros and cons to being a child prodigy, and here they are:

Pro: You are smarter than your peers. As a child prodigy, you're so much smarter than your peers that it physically hurts. You could easily run a sophisticated crime syndicate in the classroom, but you're really not sure your evil genius would be appreciated, or even noticed.

Con: You are smarter than everyone. Unfortunately for you, your superior intelligence makes your teachers very uncomfortable and grumpy in the classroom. After all, you're pretty sure it's not normal to get sent to the principal for "being right far too often."

Pro: You're way more impressive. While your classmates are building batteries out of potatoes (lame), you're building nuclear reactors (awesome). And while your classmates are struggling through The Hunger Games, you're finishing your annotated edition of War and Peace.

Con: People expect more impressive things from you. Sometimes you don't want to be curing cancer at age 3 and 1/2. Sometimes, you just want to play with your dolls. But no, your genius mind cannot be wasted on anything less than solving the 10 trillionth digit of pi or stopping your dumb younger sister from running into walls.

Pro: You get a lot of awards. And who doesn't like getting awards? Unlike your relatively talentless classmates, people never fail to inform you that you are special. And eventually, you're going to have so many gold-plated trophies you could melt them down, sell them, and buy yourself a yacht.

Con: They're running out of awards to give you. At this point, you're pretty sure they're just making things up. And honestly, you're running out of room on your wall for plaques like "Most Intelligent Online Profile" and "Smartest Kid in Starbucks." It's not like you need an award for everything.

Pro: You have more free time. Instead of wasting time learning the multiplication tables (which you master at the age of 4 months, thankyouverymuch), you can get to work on developing your ideas for a playground that levitates.

Con: You're just sooo bored. You've already read the Complete Works of Shakespeare so many times you can recite every play. And what good is a levitating playground if your friends are all too busy doing menial labor to play on it with you? At this rate, you have no choice but to occupy your time taking over the known universe.

Pro: You are that much closer to world domination. Everyone knows that child prodigies are 57% more likely to conquer the world than any other group. You'd be doing us all a favor, really: who better to rule the world than a genius like you?

Con: People suspect you of plotting world domination. Your superior intelligence means every government in the world is already stalking your every move. If you're really sincere about this world domination thing, you're going to have to work much, much harder than your average imbecile.

What's your favorite part of being a child prodigy, you adorable evil genius?

Topics: Life
Tags: sparklers, kids, lists, intelligence, smart people, smart kids, geniuses, prodigies, child prodigies

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About the Author
Jennifer Grudziecki

Jennifer Grudziecki is a writer, intern, and soon-to-be college graduate living in New York City. Her life goal is to be a space pirate, and maybe to write a book along the way. Follow her on Twitter @JennyGrudzy or on Tumblr at www.jennigrudzi.tumblr.com/

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.