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How to Have an International Summer without Leaving the Country

How to Have an International Summer without Leaving the Country

By Ashley Brooke Roberts

Emily went to Europe AGAIN with her family this Summer? David’s volunteering in Mexico? Your neighbor three doors down who’s name you can never remember is back-packing through Istanbul? And you’re home, third summer in a row, working at the Dairy Queen? WHAT GIVES PEOPLE? Sometimes it seems that everyone is having an international summer adventure and you’re all alone re-living the same small-town highlights of every summer you’ve ever had. Well, never fear, there is a way that you too can have an adventure over seas without ever leaving the country. Follow our simple step-by-step process and you’ll be saying “Bonjour! Hola! Ciao!” before you can recite all the DQ flavors of ice cream.

1. Pick a country: Ah! It seems like there are too many to choose from, but narrow it down to one. If this is impossible, spin a globe and with eyes shut, put your finger down randomly; that’s your country. Whatever you do, don’t make up the country, that will just result in making the rest of the steps listed below very difficult.

2. Research: Go to that country’s Wikipedia page like the Harvard PhD student you probably will be, and read all about it. Sure, this sounds boring and almost like homework, but think about, you need to know what ingredients you’re working with in order to catch a fish. What? That analogy doesn’t make sense? Let's try another: you’ve got to slap a frog before you can take a hike. There, now we’re on the same page.

3. Plan a party: If you’re going abroad in your back yard, there’s going to be a party involved. Know that you will need to be okay with inviting everyone who is still in town. Like international cities, diversity is the key, so the more the merrier. Yes, that does mean the crossed-eyed girl from homeroom. Hey, maybe you’ll get along! Maybe you won’t! Either way, you’ll learn her name and stop calling her “What exactly are you looking at?” D:

4. Food: Your party is going to need international snacks my friend. Look up some basic recipes and plan a menu for your get together. Remember, the easier for you to prepare the better. Think tacos, cheese and bread, hummus.

5. Mixed drinks: Margaritas for Mexico, wine for Italy, whiskey for Ireland. Just kidding! You can’t drink alcohol silly. Unless you want this party to get busted by the cops, who are AMERICAN, so that will really ruin the mood. Instead, think virgin versions of these drinks. Frozen lemonade for margaritas, grape juice for wine, disgusting, hard to swallow vinegar for whiskey.

6. Costumes: Time to get funky! Wear the country’s stereotypical garb (wooden clogs for Switzerland, etc.) or just put together a random outfit based on the colors in that country’s flag. Whatever you do, make sure you have fun and look weird.

7. Execution: Party time! This is the best part! Play music from that particular country (excellent time to use Pandora.com), mingle with your friends while you snack on finger food, wrapped up in a sheet because you went with Italy, and Hey! look it’s a toga! That's what they wore, right? And pretend to talk in whatever language you choose. Gibberish is fine as long as you throw in some random location-based nouns. Ex: Hkshdihwenf ah dfhj de Roman Coliseum sdmfbnwekhf. Take a lot of pictures and make a Facebook album called “Our Summer Abroad!”

Are you "going abroad" this summer?

Topics: Life
Tags: parties, travel, summer, international

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About the Author
Ashley Brooke Roberts

Ashley Brooke Roberts is a stand-up comedian, writer, and actor living in Brooklyn. She's a performer at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater and can usually be found smiling at random dogs on the street. Follow her on twitter at @AshleyBRoberts.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.

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