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The 12 Kinds of People You'll Meet at College Orientation

The 12 Kinds of People You'll Meet at College Orientation

By Bailey_Swilley

It's not back to school yet, but it is "Welcome to College" time! Here's the cast list:

1. The one who is from the same town as the college
This person grew up right down the street. He doesn't care about the school's athletic program, is not going to live in the dorms, and he oozes apathy juice, which isn't that gross because it's just a metaphor. This is NOT the dude to hang with if you wanna stay excited about school, but if you're overflowing with nervous energy, he'll be there—barely awake, but there—to calm you down.

2. The one who is a die-hard school spirit fanatic
She BLEEDS your new school's colors. This will be refreshing until... it isn't. Still, team up with her when you need someone to go to athletic events with. You'll always have a good time and you'll know all the cheers by the second half of the first football game. Someone might actually mistake you for a sophomore. BOOM.

3. The girl who can't wait to be in sleepover land and order pizza every night and paint nails
She's already in the running to be a residential assistant next year. You'll never see her outside of the dormitory hall. She'll make you feel comfortable and she'll always have good snacks but her skin is Edward Cullen-translucent from never seeing the sun... which might make you uncomfortable. Speaking of Edward, she can talk Twilight for days. Maybe even years.

4. The guy who does bad things
He's only here for a few hours and he's already been put on probation for the fall semester. Terrifying. But we're dying to know how he pulled it off so quickly...

5. The one who is already homesick
One night away from home and this little lamb has lost its way. Be kind. You never know when you'll have a blubbering mom-missing meltdown yourself.

6. The state champion
As far as you're concerned, this is the college equivalent of a Greek god or goddess. State champs turn into college athletes, and they get to eat the best food and the most food. You might want to make friends for access to the sweetest dining halls.

7. The prodigy
You'll never live up to this person. Unless you are this person. Have fun at all the practices, rehearsals, and scarfing up the maximum amount of credit hours possible... alone.

8. The fashionista
This glamour queen will show up to all activities looking preppy and flawless. She'll have perfect hair and pearl earrings. Once school starts you might catch her on "a bad day" when she'll be sporting a yoga outfit. If this is you, kudos to almost always having it together. If not, don't worry; nobody cares. The rest of us are wearing ripped sweatpants and shirts decorated in ketchup stains.

9. The Greek life candidate
Oh geez. This lady wants to be in a sorority really, really badly. But not just any sorority... THE BEST ONE. Stay out of her way, especially when she throws her own parade through the dining halls.

10. The slacker
This dude's just meeting the bare minimum of this stuff, barely. He's got his eyes on the prize... the prize being a burrito. How did he even get INTO this school?

11. The one who sticks to their parents side
He'll stay glued to mom and dad until the last second. He didn't come here to make friends. He's already got two best ones that think he's number one.

12. The one who wants to get back to their summer vacation
College is still two months away and this guy is still enjoying the fruits of graduating high school and savoring the end of days with best friends. He'll worry about his schedule come September. (Hello, 8 a.m. general requirement courses...). Don't let this happen to you.

Have you been to college orientation yet?

Topics: Life, College Advisor
Tags: college, school, personality types, lists, college orientation

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About the Author
Bailey_Swilley

Bailey Swilley is a writer, web production editor, and comedian living in Brooklyn. She loves to talk about dogs, musical theatre, and celebs... especially Beyonce.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.