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Hickeys: The Dos and Don'ts

Hickeys: The Dos and Don'ts

By Sissy

As your boyfriend kisses your neck, you can’t help but lose yourself in the moment—this is IT! This is what being in love feels like! Yep, getting a hickey can be hot—until you wake up the next day with a purple spot on your neck for all the world to see. Suddenly, hickeys SUCK. What do you do next? Redirect your man-friend's mouth to your knees, so all future hickeys look like cool skateboarding wounds? Tell everyone you're bringing sexy turtlenecks back...in high summer? You don't have to do this alone. Here are some dos and don'ts on dealing with your next sexy neck bruise:

DO: Resist the urge to brag. When you get your first hickey, it’s kind of exciting. You have physical proof that someone likes you—so much that they actually tried to eat you! You might want to show all your girlfriends the evidence, but if you want to remain a class act, don’t kiss and tell. Except your best friend, of course. She's got kiss and tell privileges.

DON’T: Go into Hiding. While we don’t recommend screaming about your hickey over the school's PA system, there's also no need to become the phantom of the opera until it goes down. Even as a marked woman, you can still go to work, babysit your cousins, and tutor those nice fourth graders every Tuesday afternoon. Hickeys happen. Don't let the judgmental haters get you down.

DO: Try and cover up a bit. While we don't recommend going full-on Lenny Kravitz with a cover-up scarf, you might feel more confident with a touch of cover-up. Liquid foundation or concealer might help, or you can try wearing your hair down and over the shoulders. Other possibilities: popped collar, chunky necklace, cool pet snake.

DON’T: Wear a turtleneck, Miss Obvious. You’ll look ridiculous, not to mention sweaty. And yes, everyone will know why you’re wearing wool in June. Your parents weren't born yesterday.

DO: Try some tanner. Apply a little self-tanner on the area where that sexy vampire attacked. If you do it wrong, never fear: everyone will be too busy staring at your Oompa-Loompa–colored neck to notice your hickey!

DON’T: Go to the tanning salon. We'd rather your 'rents see that boo-bite than let you you start fake baking. Doing the Snooki is not a good look for you/anybody.

DO: Chill out. Covering your hickey with a cold spoon may help reduce swelling and break up blood clots. So go ahead and stick some spoons in the freezer, and tell your mom you’re doing a science experiment. Even though she totally knows this old trick, she just might let you get away with it.

DON’T: Be afraid to tell your boyfriend to cool it. If you enjoy getting hickeys, that’s one thing. But if you're tired of walking around with an embarrassing necklace, then let him know. What’s wrong with regular making out? Nothin'.

DO: Rub Visine on your hickeys. Trust us—it works.

Have you ever gotten a hickey? How did you deal?

Topics: Life
Tags: kissing, dating, embarrassing things, boyfriends, embarrassing situations

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About the Author
Sissy

Sissy is a woman/girl who lives, works and eats too much popcorn on the north side of Chicago. Bet you couldn't guess that her real name is actually not Sissy, but it's what her family likes to call her by. Also, She's loud and is very glad you can't hear her.

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