We’ve already settled on who not to invite to your birthday party, because that’s a perfectly reasonable thing that normal people do. For instance, I already know who I don’t want at my wedding; so far the list includes Darren Criss, because if I'm not marrying him I don't want him there at all, and Slender Man, because that’s just good sense. But now that we have the all-important list of Not Inviteds, we need to settle on who is invited... in terms of fictional characters, that is.
1. Tony Stark. If you don’t want Tony Stark at your party, you’re clearly not picturing him playing musical chairs in the Iron Man suit.
2. Lorelai Gilmore. If there’s anyone who knows how to throw a birthday party, it’s Lorelai. There’s nothing she can’t liven up, so she’s basically guaranteed to keep your party from being a snoozefest (all while maintaining the Cool Mom persona). From botched bachelorette parties to preteen parties gone awry, Lorelai is exactly the kind of creative mastermind you want manning the helm in case of an emergency.
3 and 4. Fred and George Weasley. Every party needs at least two pranksters. It’s in the rules. There will be fireworks and stolen food and before long somebody will probably turn into a large canary. If nobody turns into a large canary, it wasn't really a party.
5. Jack Sparrow. One word: karaoke. Also, there's like a 90% chance Tony will refuse to call Jack "Captain," which will trigger snarky back-and-forth banter that will probably go on forever.
6. Nymphadora Tonks. As a Metamorphmagus, her special talent for changing her appearance at will was practically invented for shindigs.
7. Flynn Rider. Doesn’t Flynn just seem like the kind of adorable rascal that would bask in a good birthday party? Doesn’t he seem like he’d kick some serious butt at Apples to Apples? Can we invite him just for The Smolder?
8. Julia from 1984. It’s always best to wrangle up a few of those live-in-the-moment people, and Julia’s certainly one of them. I'm not going to say there will be a mild rebellion in the form of a dance-off, but certainly I'm not going to say there won't be, either.
9. Barney Stinson. Whether you want him there or not, he’ll probably show up anyway, so you might as well put him on the guest list. Besides, if you want the party to be anything in the general area of legendary, I don’t see that you have a choice.
10. Felicity Worthington. If you haven’t read A Great and Terrible Beauty, let me tell you, Felicity is just the kind of clever hell-raiser that would take Pin the Tail on the Donkey really, really seriously and still wind up the life of the party. (For comparison's sake, if I were to take it that seriously I'd be mocked, ostracized, and eventually banished. Even if I were the birthday girl.)
11. Thor. Because it’s always a good idea to invite the guy who won’t understand any of the pop culture references, just for the sole purpose of watching him stare uncomprehendingly while you make said references.
12. Luna Lovegood. Aside from her being a fantastic person who would in all likelihood show up dressed to impress with her Butterbeer cap necklace, I’m dying to invite her just to see her interact with Thor. And you could probably charge admission just to watch the two of them play charades.
Which fictional character would you most want at your birthday party?