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The Most Annoying Questions Your Parents Can Ask

The Most Annoying Questions Your Parents Can Ask

By Melissa Albert

They may have raised you, but that doesn't mean they know how to talk to you. No matter how close you are with your parents, you will never completely escape the vortex of terrible/annoying/predictable parental questions. Here are some of the classics:

1. Are people being nice to you? Sometimes your parents look at you and just see a toddler in overalls.

2. What did you learn today? Shut this one down quick by responding with an extensive tutorial on sines and cosines.

3. Do you think you're leaving the house looking like that? That's not really a question, now is it?

4. So, what's cool these days? Yes, you have become your parents' trendspotter. Or, worst-case scenario, they have become their own...

5. Your mom and I are pretty cool, right? Usually followed by the inept throwing of a fake rapper hand signal, then the sound of all offspring in the vicinity dropping dead of embarrassment.

6. Can I friend you on Facebook? You can certainly try!

7. But is he a nice boy? This stands in for waaay too many questions that are waaay too embarrassing to actually say aloud. Therefore it's hideously embarrassing on its own.

8. Why don't you bring your brother/sister? You really want to know? How much time have you got?

9. Are parents going to be there? Umm. Current parents?

10. Are you crabby? Only ever asked when one is transparently crabby.

11. Where do you need to go at this time of night? Again with the "not really a question."

12. What can you tell your friends that you can't tell me? Oh, mom/dad. *pats head* I'll tell you when you're older.

13. Ooh, can I borrow this? Works alright with your copy of The Hunger Games, less so with the Forever 21 tube dress you bought on a regrettable whim.

14. What are you doing right now? QUICK, THINK OF SOMETHING. OH GOD, MIND A COMPLETE BLANK. NOOOOO. Welcome to your new Saturday plans: mowing followed by gutter cleaning followed by hiding in the bathroom with your iPad and a bag of Chex Mix.

What parental question do you dread the most?

Topics: Life
Tags: parents, annoying things, embarrassing things, awkward questions, embarrassing situations

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About the Author
Melissa Albert

Melissa Albert reads books, worries about other people’s dogs (they look thirsty), and eats horrible candy for fun and profit. When not wearing her extremely tasteful Sparkitor hat, she’s an editor for the Barnes & Noble Book Blog. You can find her on Twitter @mimi_albert, or in the hot pretzel section of your local cafeteria.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.

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