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Auntie SparkNotes: My Parents Won't Approve Of My Pill-Taking Friend

Auntie SparkNotes: My Parents Won't Approve Of My Pill-Taking Friend

Hey Auntie:

I just finished my first year of college and I'm inviting one of my friends over for a weekend in the summer. I love her to death, but there's a bit of a problem. She's on birth control.

Okay, that's not actually the problem; I don't have a problem with her being on birth control. Her choice, she's being responsible, blah blah blah. What bothers me is that she's REALLY obvious about using it. She talks to everyone about being on the pill and makes a really big deal about popping her pill at 7:00 every night. (She will freak out bat shizz crazy if she does not take it at 7 on the dot.) It's a little weird, but hey, I'm weird too so we get along.

However, my parents are pretty uptight about stuff like this; I come from a conservative family. I mean, they're not going to get all up in my friend's business and disapprove of her publicly, but I know if she goes on about taking her pill like she usually does, there's going to be so much awkwardness this summer between her and my parents. Is there any way that I can just tell her to take her pill in the bathroom and avoid the whole situation with my parents?

Like so:

"Hey, friend? My parents will get weird if they see your birth control, so you should probably take your pill privately and not leave the pack lying around."

That is, if you even need to say anything, i.e. you have legitimate reason to believe that your friend is a flaming nitwit who will ignore every common-sense boundary of appropriate social conventions unless you explicitly tell her not to. And maybe you do? But I don't know, Sparkler, there's just something ever-so-slightly odd about your letter—like birth control is some grossout embarrassing thing that decent people don't talk about, and that your friend's willingness to do so, even amongst her peers, means she must have a giant black hole full of spiders where her sense of propriety ought to be. (Also, just FYI: assiduously taking the pill at the same time every day isn't weird, but it is the best way to guarantee its effectiveness at preventing pregnancy... which you'll want to remember in the likely event that you end up using the pill yourself someday.)

Not that her constant babbling about it isn't tiresome and silly—it is!—but even so, there's an awfully big gap between oversharing about birth control around your friends, and flashing it in the faces of your friends' parents. Even the most ridiculous people usually have the sense and ability to censor themselves in polite company... especially when it's over the course of one (one!) tiny weekend.

Which is to say, you probably don't even need to worry about this. But if you feel you must say something, then just say it per the above: casually, directly, and without making it out like it's a big deal or something to be ashamed of.

Because it isn't, really. (And also because if you treat it like one, your friend probably isn't going to appreciate being treated like a slutty idiot.)

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Topics: Advice
Tags: parents, auntie sparknotes, friends, awkward situations, advice, birth control, hnd

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About the Author

Kat Rosenfield is a writer, illustrator, advice columnist, YA author, and enthusiastic licker of that plastic liner that comes inside a box of Cheez-Its. She loves zombies and cats. She hates zombie cats. Follow her on Twitter or Tumblr @katrosenfield.

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