18 Signs You Shouldn't Be Wearing Shorts Yet
1. You inspired Cake to write a sequel song called "Short Shorts/Long Jacket."
2. The tiny hairs on your leg have mini icicles on them.
3. Your goosebumps have goosebumps. We know because you Instagrammed it.
4. Look down. You're wearing long socks and winter boots.
5. People keep asking you if you're cold.
6. People keep asking you if you're okay.
7. People keep asking you if you want to tie their jacket around your legs.
8. You walked to a party, saw some sweatpants on the street, and put them on over your shorts for the remainder of the walk. Not worth it.
9. You haven't seen one other person wearing shorts yet. Not joggers, not the UPS workers, not even the swimsuit model that lives on your street.
10. It's 45 degrees and not sunny.
11. You wear five sweatshirts to balance out your cold from wearing shorts.
12. Your parents keep rolling their eyes at you.
13. Your friends, family, and teachers have handed you cold and flu medicine on multiple occasions. "It's preventative," they said.
14. You are wearing a onesie under your shorts.
15. 60 minutes. That's the minimum amount of time you spend in front of a space heater every day after coming in from shorts-wearing.
16. People keep looking at your legs and gasping.
17. Why are they gasping? Because your legs are PURPLE.
18. Or BLUE.
PUT ON SOME PANTS!
Is it safe to wear shorts yet where you live?