Okay, am I the only one who gets a little annoyed when one of my friends comes up to me and goes "OMG guess what?!"? And then when I finally play into their game THEY DON'T EVEN TELL ME THE NEWS, saying things like "No really, guess!" or "Oh hold on a second". Ugh...but then you finally have news and you get mad at yourself because you find yourself doing the exact same thing and it makes you think that it's this never ending cycle of "Guess what?" karma that no one has ever noticed, hence the reason it's still going on.
But I refuse to be a part of that! Yes, sir, I'm taking a stand and want you to take a stand with me. So instead of playing into your hormonal teenage friend's game, make your own game and answer with these 20 ways when someone asks "Guess what?!".
20. After they ask, immediately slap them in the face and yell "You dare make me guess?! You have shamed my family! Swords at High Noon, and this time, you die!"
19. Point at your bra. When they give you a confused look say "Oh that's not it? What then?"
18. Right after he or she asks, walk in the opposite direction without saying anything.
17. Get way too excited. Run around, tell other people she asked guess what, maybe even add some confetti. Your choice.
16. Start crying.
15. Randomly hold up a pinapple and say "Can he hear, too?"
14. Start to pull down your pants and say "Cant hear secrets without mah pants off."
13. Sing a showtune that has absolutely nothing to do with what he/she's about to tell you.
12. Immediately start smiling and keep smiling. No matter how much it hurts.
11. Immediately start smiling and wiggle your eyebrows a bit. This adds a little bit of mystery on both sides.
10. laugh loudly and jab her saying "Ooh I guess someone got Johnny's bag huh?" When they ask what, look at them and say "Remember, Johnny? Wait! Wrong person."
9. Start screaming
8. Start screaming in distress
7. Start screaming in distress and yell "Oh my god, I am sick of this drama!"
6. Look behind you suddenly and push your friend over half a step, then ask you to continue. Disregard any questions she has over pushing you over half a step.
5. Find the nearest girl to you and yell directly at her, "HAHA! SHE TOLD ME FIRST!"
4. Point at your ear like you can't hear until she starts shouting.
3. Point at your ear like you can't hear, and then when she starts to shout, hush her and say "Quiet down! I can hear, I just got new earrings."
2. When she starts talking, hold up your hand, give her a penny, and walk down the hallway.
1. Let her say her news, say absolultely nothing, sniff, and walk away.
Originally published on May 8, 2013.