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21 Things To Say After Passing Gas in Front of Your Significant Other

21 Things To Say After Passing Gas in Front of Your Significant Other

It happens to the best of us and if it hasn't happened to you yet, trust us. It will someday. Get armed with these zingers, rebuttals (emphasis on butt), and defenses for when the bubbly time might strike.

1. "Did you just hear the sound of a baby panda crying?"

2. "It's okay, I forgive you."

3. "I AM KING."

4. "Jesus, Gandhi, Buddha, Mother Teresa, and many other greats have done the same thing."


6. "It's better that it wasn't a burp, trust me."

7. "Laugh now... it's only a matter of time until you have bubbly guts too."

8. "Something bad happened."

9. "Here." (Hand them a copy of The Gas We Pass.)

10. "It's called digestion, kiddo. Can ya dig it?"

11. "Consider yourself lucky. There are worse things that have come from there."

12. "Consider yourself lucky. You're now in my close circle of friends."

13. "I think the wind is officially broken."

14. "Listen to all that health!"

16. "If you've been holding it in around me, you now have my permission to let it go."

17. "Can I use a memory wipe on that?"

18. "It's not you, it's me."

19.  "What can I say? I'm human."

20. "Your turn! Can you beat that?"

21. "Congrats! We've now entered the comfortable stage of this relationship."

Have you ever passed guess in front of someone you were crushing on?

Topics: Life
Tags: relationships, crushes, horrible things, embarrassing things, lists

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Bailey Swilley is a writer, web production editor, and comedian living in Brooklyn. She loves to talk about dogs, musical theatre, and celebs... especially Beyonce.

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