As the weather gets better and better, the temptation to call in sick to school gets louder and louder inside your brain. Unless you think out loud. Which, fine. Anyway, the final school days are crucial to the year—exams, goodbyes, last good impressions on teachers. We don't recommend missing any days, but if you happen to be a giant puddle of stress and anxiety, we suggest NOT using any of these excuses to call in sick.
1. "My dog ate a stick of dynamite and I have to keep him away from fire."
2. "MY DVR IS BROKEN AND I NEED TO KNOW WHO THE FATHER IS ON MAURY!!"
3. "I ran out of clothes and can't show up to school in a bathing suit and grocery bag shirt. (I got, like, four detentions last time I did that.)"
4. "I'm in the middle of a dance marathon, and the last kid standing wins a new Hyundai."
5. "My little brother has an eggroll stuck in his nose and I need to take him to the ER."
6. "It's 79º outside! I'm surprised anyone is there!"
7. "I've got to wait in line for Guitar Hero: Nickelback."
8. "I now celebrate Saturday on Friday."
9. "I lost my voice in the shower singing 'The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' theme song."
10. "My teacher said, 'Live each day as if it were your last,' so I'm busy making funeral arrangements."
11. "I've run away to join Cirque du Soleil. They're counting on me to hose down the UniBearCorn: half bear, half unicorn, all magic…"
12. "MTV is holding auditions for a new reality show called 'Dancing in my Living Room When No One is Home' and I am PERFECT for it."
13. "I'm trapped in quicksand!"
14. "I'm trapped in a dog cage!"
15. "I'm trapped in a dog cage in quicksand!"
16. "I lost my phone!"
17. "I had an allergic reaction to this shampoo my mom bought, and my hair turned into linguine."
18. "After making a wish I woke up one morning as a 15-year old. Today, I woke up and returned to my 30-year old body."
19. "I'm not a real person. I'm a time-traveling cyborg sent to the year 2013 to destroy the man who will one day be responsible for inventing an app that helps parents talk like their kids. Mission: Accomplished. Powering down…"
What's your back pocket Get Out of School Excuse?