Confessions of a Teacher's Kid, Part Two
Way back in July 2011, my very first Sparkler post, Confessions of a Teacher’s Kid, was published. And in the two years since that post was written, I’ve heard so many more stories about the insanely creative ways that students try to annoy their teachers. So I’ve compiled some of the best annoyances in this brand new post! Here are 8 ways to annoy your teacher:
Pretend the classroom is an airport. Sure you may have a little basket under your desk, but who actually uses those? No one. Instead, leave your things strewn all over the aisles. Bonus points if someone trips. Double bonus points if that someone is your teacher.
“Have it your way.” One of my Lit. teacher’s favorite sayings is “This is NOT Burger King. You cannot have it YOUR way.” But if you want to annoy the teacher, you can! Mrs. Johnson says write in pen? Write in Hello Kitty scented glitter markers. She says write an essay on the flaws of Macbeth? Write a rap about the flaws of your pet goldfish.
What bell? Instead of moving on to your next class after the bell rings, just hang out. See if you can get through a whole period or more without the teacher noticing.
Creep. You know those people who walk down the hall like they’re an elderly turtle? Or the teachers who stop in the middle of the hall to talk? Instead of just going around them, walk right up behind them and follow them very closely. All the way down the hall. Sort of like this guy.
Fill the classroom with apples. This is give-your-teacher-an-apple taken to the extreme. Instead of throwing away those old apples from lunch, gather them up and fill the classroom with them. Stick one in every desk, in cabinets, on the podium. Everywhere. Bonus points for an apple avalanche.
Answer every question with the same answer. What is the measure of angle A? Two. What is the sum of 15 and 3? Two. Why do you answer everything with 2? Two.
Send random kids to the teacher. “Hey, Billy! Mr. Smith needs to see you ASAP!” Billy searches for Mr. Smith and asks him what he needs. Mr. Smith then tries to figure out why he needed Billy. Billy is annoyed because he’s now late for gym and Mr. Smith is making a weird face. Just sit back and enjoy the confusion.
Give obvious definitions. This works especially well if your still do any kind of vocabulary lessons. For example, the definition of mystic is mystical. And the best part is, if your get the evil eye from the teacher, you can just pull out your dictionary for proof.