Listen, we know there is literally nothing you'd rather do than study for your AP exams until your eyeballs fall out of your head, but you've got to slow down. If you don't stop studying your brain will swell like a water balloon and it will eventually pop. That could be true, how would you know? You've lost all sense of reality. You're stuck in a twilight zone between The Ice Man Cometh and Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. For real though, studying too much is a thing, and there's a point where you start looking and acting like you've just come back from a 3-day vision quest where you fasted and meditated and found out your power animal is a rooster, and you are not happy about it.
Here are some signs you have spent way too much time studying:
1. Weird Dreams: All you have to do is close your eyes and it's clear that black words on white paper are burned into the backs of your eyelids. If you dream that your teeth are bothering you, like they want to jump out of your mouth, you are seriously stressed out. Same goes for dreaming your hands are covered in paper cuts, or you show up a day late for the exam and your teacher is a real jerk about it. Wake up and watch an episode of 30 Rock. Clear out that subconscious.
2. Your Desk is a National Security Threat: Energy Drinks, pizza crusts, eye drops, Kleenex, dead pens and highlighters, skittles, back pillows, drool. GET IT TOGETHER MAN.
3. Obscene Posture: When was the last time you stood up straight? Do you make old man sounds when you get up out of your chair? Hang from a tree branch or some monkey bars and then roll down a grassy hill. A hunchback is not going to fit into the prom dress you bought but are secretly planning to return.
4. Survival Bag: You know there's a chance this study session could last for days, so you've brought extra clothes, mouth wash, deodorant, and puppy chow. You're in it to win it, but your parents think you've run away from home. Give them a call.
5. Ticks: This is terrifying, but sometimes you can study so hard that your skin starts to itch. You'll just be sitting in the library in an AP trance, scratching your body all over, ignoring its pleas to take shower. Also, terrifying: eye twitching.
How many of these have you experienced?