*After you read this and comment, PLEASE UPVOTE THIS POST ON THE BLOG! It would be super-great if we could get a lot of people in on this cause before it's too late! Thank you for reading, my lovelies! See you at Prom!*
During fourth period today, I had a rude awakening. Whilst minding my own business, a certain social studies teacher handed out a survey on behalf of a friend (the nerve!). We ALL received it - and I, for one, spewed awkward all over the place....
....she hands out the papers. Lord have mercy! I love you, God, but I haven't ever even attempted to find another human to love! The relationship survey blankly stares back at me as a through-the-facepalm transpires. And yes, I have literally left the thing BUH-LANK.
Do I have to? I ask myself. The girl to my immediate left answers the first question: 'Have you ever been in a relationship?'
Yes, she denotes, but of course! I'm lovelier than you, can't you tell? You win awards for various academia, excel on your awkward instrument of choice and invest your time into genuine friendships, but that won't help you get a boyfriend! At least not as many as me: 10 by age 10. I know you're jelly.
Well, maybe she doesn't carry herself with THAT much pomp - it was only a yes/no question - but you get the idea (besides, I'd be orange marmalade). A far-too-heavy sigh escapes me. I can't help it! This is pathetic maddening. For once I don't have the right answer; at least it seems that way. I've never been on a date, ever. Nope! But I can't write it down. I just can't do it. It's definitely not shameful. Besides, it's fine and well to live the single life waiting for what you deserve. More than fine! That's commendable! But when you're single, you still have to ask yourself what it would be like not to be, like wondering what it would be like to have Nutella in your sandwich instead of peanut butter, or to be raspberry jam instead of the marmalade that obviously nobody likes.
Why are we taking a test on our dating history, again? I can't actually say that, but my friend and I have a conversation via eye contact in which I express my dismay. She answered yes, too, and this is one test I CANNOT cheat on. Finally I accept my sordid daily dose of humility, suck up my pride, thank God for it, and move on. What do they put in humble pie, again?
But it's been bugging me ever since!
It's not that I'm yearning to occupy any of my free time. Or find true love at fourteen. My wisdom does NOT transcend my desire for companionship, however, and while I have friends, having an awesome SO is something that I've never experienced and has got to be on a lot of Sparkler's bucket lists (NBK, I'm looking at you)!
So I said, Self (COMMA, because I always utilize exemplary grammar), you're a smart girl. You're also super-cool, but obviously in a very different way from your friendly classmate. Your fellow Sparklers and Manklers are also the same way - and where better place to find a sweet, sensible, nerdy and particularly amazing SO just for one night?!?
Ladies and gents, I have a proposition for you all. Follow the steps below if you would like a date to the Sparklife Online Prom on May 3 from 4-8 PM. If you're not into that, great! You can fly solo, hang with a group, or enjoy the evening with an already-established lover. Just don't forget to upvote this on the blog so that as many people - hopefully near equal boys/girls - who want to participate can!
1). Comment! Establish yourself as either a Mankler or a Sparkler, then write a little about yourself. This doesn't need to be rigid, either! Write a sentence telling who you are, then follow it up with a little blurb of a story or poem that gives me a feel for your personality. Gender, basics, personality. Go!
2) AH! WAIT! Then you need to Upvote this! If we don't get as many Manklers as Sparklers, or vice versa (I don't suspect the latter will be a problem), then it'll be really tough for me to narrow this down! Also, it would be great if we could get a really diverse group! Please do this!
3) Check your Inbox. Soon enough (probably by the 28th) I'll have decided that Comments are closed and my matchmaking has come to an end! You will know who your date is, and your date will know you.
4) Chat! Get to know your date by chatting on Open Threads, or privately through the messaging system. What you do is up to you. Just get acquainted!
5) Enjoy Prom! Remember, May 3 from 4-8 PM.
I don't know about you guys, but I'm extra-pumped. Just for one night I get to do something absolutely lovely for my Sparklers/Manklers that can either change your lives drastically, moderately, or just for a single, super-fun night! Either way, I'm glad I can do this for you, even if I myself never get a date! Just remember to upvote! See you at Prom!
Originally published on April 17, 2013.