10 Tips for Texting Your Crush
While texting is a fast, easy way to communicate with your crush, it's also a complicated, confusing game that can result in disaster. To help you save face, we’ve come up with some guidelines for next time you decide to whip out your iPhone in the hopes of getting your crush on. With our help and a little luck, we think your next test message fest could end in a little thing called LOVE. Get excited!
1. Send a text message that’s all like, What are you up to?, instead of saying what you’re really feeling, which is something along the lines of, Do you want to be the father my future babies and spend all weekend dreaming up their names and drawing pictures of them?
2. Wait! Be punny if you can. Before sending, find a way to send a text that’s a wee bit witty, instead of the standard, What are you up to this weekend? That way, your crush might think you’re actually funny, and have a brain. That’s generally a good thing.
3. Sound like the smart, confident, grammar-conscious person what you are. <---That was intentional. Anyway, if you don’t speak in abreevs, don’t litter your texts with to many TTYLs, LOLs, or LMFAOs. You want him to actually understand what you are trying to say, right?
4. Instead of sitting on your couch waiting for him to respond, do something to keep your mind occupied. Go on an errand, head out for a jog, or take your favorite book into the bathroom.
5. If you have to ask one of your friends if it’s okay to text him because he hasn’t responded yet, the answer is NO.
6. Consider your text a success if it elicits back a response like, Hey, what’s up?, instead of Who the hell is this?!?, How’d you get my number? or, How would you like to disappear?
7. Resist the urge to be texting your crush all day and night. Like, I’m getting a pedicure right now with my BFF Jenna, then planning to go home, take a bath and completely de-lint my belly button while watching The Mindy Project, which I dvr’d because I never, ever miss an episode LOL. Keep your cards close, make him wait to learn more about you and your belly button in person.
8. Keep your shirt on in all picture texts, puhlease! That means NO bathing suit pics! Picture texts should be of a really beautiful food dish you’ve just whipped up, your cuddly awwwwww moments with your dogs, and the huge bruise you got from paint balling this weekend.
9. Texting late into the night in dangerous. If he texts you around midnight, you’ve now entered the twilight zone. After nightfall and with a little courage, he might ask you weird things about your bras, but just ignore him. A lady doesn’t respond until the morning, because she is getting her beauty sleep (or making out with her other crush in her driveway).
10. If you mention you’re at the mall shopping or heading to a coffee shop to do homework, and he happens to show up, head to the bathroom and scream your face off because you’ve just won the crush lottery. HOLY CRAP!
Do you have any tips to share that you use when you text your crush? What little rules have you established for yourself? Share with your fellow Sparklers in the comments section so they can finally muter up to the courage to text their crushes too!