You might complain that your teacher is craaaaazy, but do you really mean it? Is he/she actually crazy? Answer these questions to find out.
What does your teacher usually wear?
A. Slacks that might be described as “sensible” in the J. Crew catalogue.
B. Non-matching neon something with a pattern that sometimes makes you feel dizzy.
C. A Deadmou5 mask.
For a field trip, she took you to
A. A car insurance company.
B. The M&Ms factory–how do they get those little “m”s on every little candy?
C. An illegal dog fight.
Your latest science homework was
A. To stare at photocopies of your science book, in hopes that through osmosis, you’ll memorize facts about photosynthesis.
B. Build a mechanical bull and then try to stay on it for at least five minutes.
C. Create a recipe for Bath Salts. "Wait," you say, "Isn't that a code name for an illegal drug?" She tells you to spend the rest of the class in the bathroom.
The book you’re reading is
A. The biography about some guy who wrote a 1,600-page book about the history of taxes.
B. Your teacher’s self-published memoir that highlights her life as a rodeo pig wrestler.
C. Transcripts to old episodes of Unsolved Mysteries because the aliens are out there.
On your teacher’s birthday
A. You didn’t know it was her birthday, and always suspected she didn’t have one.
B. She brought in a karaoke machine and her good friend Bill Nye The Science Guy taught a science lesson.
C. She was absent that day, but you saw her on the nightly news for getting kicked out of T.G.I.Friday’s.
You saw your teacher in the real world, at the grocery store and she
A. Skulked around like she was an undercover cop and avoided eye contact.
B. Challenged you to a jumping jack contest and it took forever.
C. Flash mobbed you, by herself, to a Nicki Minaj song on the gigantic stereo she was toting on her shoulder.
While you’re taking tests, your teacher
A. Also takes the same test, for fun.
B. Serenedes the class with Andrea Bocelli songs.
C. Plays with one of those big parachutes, by herself, in the playground, laughing maniacally. (It’s distracting.)
The movie she showed on the day before Spring Break was
A. A documentary on the Iranian Revolution.
B. Mean Girls in Spanish.
C. Home videos of her break dancing.
If you answered
Mostly A’s: Your teacher is not crazy at all. In fact, she’s sort of boring. Just try to finish up the year staying awake.
Mostly B’s: Your teacher is fun crazy. The safe kind. Sure, she does kooky things, but there’s always an educational element in her logic. You want to invite her to your birthday party.
Mostly C’s: She is crazy the scary kind. You might want to look into her background. Or at least, do not agree to accompany her to her next “optional field trip” to Vegas whens she asks you.
So, is your teacher crazy?