So you guys said that you wanted to see my new “hipster but not hipster” look, right? Well here’s a video! It involves talking, and singing, and the lovely Manders. So basically, the whole thing is the equivalent of finding out that your parents are butt-kicking spies. Also known as a win.
Anyway, lately it feels like I’ve been banished to a Limbo that dooms it victims to a life of perpetual awkwardness. Due to the fact that I still have a couple weeks to go until my magnificent arrival at school, I’ve basically just been working the whole time.
That’s code for “my life is like a dry desert devoid of dashing men and exciting social interactions.”Now, don’t get me wrong. There’s still some social interaction going on here. But depressingly dull social interaction. With a tragic lack of dashing men.
This is usually what goes down: my church has kind of a “young single adult” group thing going on, in which attempts are made to provide fun social activities for us “young single adults.” Granted, the activities aren’t exactly fun. But it’s the thought that counts, right…?
Anyway, every Wednesday there’s an activity, and every Wednesday, WITHOUT FAIL, my brosef drags me over there kicking and screaming. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m always down for fun social interactions. But as I previously mentioned, it ain’t fun.
What usually happens is this: we get there. A sadly small number of nice people come up to talk to us/introduce themselves to us. And EVERY TIME I meet someone new our conversation goes a little like this:
Q: “Hi! I don’t think I’ve met you. My name’s ________.”
A: “Hi! I’m Talie. Nice to meet you.”
Q: “Where do you go to school?”
A: “I go to a school out of state, in Idaho.” (Yes, I know you’re all thinking- IDAHO?!?!? WHY?!?! It’s a good school, I promise!)
Q: “Wow, all the way over there? It must get pretty cold, huh?” *Queue awkward laughter*
A: *Talie suppresses a sassy eye roll* “Yep, it’s pretty cold.” *Queue obligatory response laughter*
Q: “So what are you studying?”
Q: “That’s awesome! So you want to teach?”
A: *Queue inward groaning* “No, I want to be a writer. But more realistically I’ll probably be an editor and work for a publisher.”
And it goes on. And on. And on. AND ON.
After the pre-activity painful socializing, we all sit down to have a little lesson. This is the easiest portion of the night, because it requires absolutely no obligatory awkward socializing on your part. You can just sit there, blissfully enjoying the fact that you don’t have to answer the same agonizing questions over and over again.
Then the lesson ends. And you die a little bit on the inside, because you realize that there’s this whole giant group of people and you suddenly forgot the names of the two people that were nice enough to talk to you at the beginning. And then you sincerely wish that you wore attire that allows you to stealthily blend into the wall.
But, alas, you left your all-grey outfit at home. So you just stand there, like a giant statue of awkwardness. You watch all of the people talking to their friends and you think to yourself, “I remember when I used to talk to people. It must be nice.”
The only really good option is to try to look as if you’re deep in thought about something intense and life-changing. Because when you’re deep in thought, you don’t have time to socialize! Oh, no, my compadres. So you scrunch your eyebrows together, squint your eyes and do something serious-looking with your mouth. And you pray that everyone else doesn’t realize that all your doing is staring at an Elvis-shaped spot on the wall.
After about ten minutes of this, you leave. Because you can’t leave right after the lesson ends, or else everyone thinks that you don’t want to make friends. And it’s not that you don’t want to make friends. It’s that YOU COMPLETELY FORGOT HOW.
So you leave with a massive ice cream craving. Because, you know, you can’t wallow in your sorrows without a good bucket of ice cream.
Needless to say, I await for the day of my flight back to school with much anticipation.
But, hey, no matter how awkward things get, at least I have a buttload of time to think deep thoughts.
What should Talie perform next? Leave your ideas in the comments!!!