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April 2013 Horoscopes!

By Jon_Skindzier Apr 2, 2013

1 of 12

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

People don't need to know everything about you at the start of a relationship, Aries; it's already hard enough to cultivate an air of mystery when you end a date by striding off into the dusk so your mom can pick you up a block away. If you are feeling creative this month, you should invent something that will benefit all mankind, such as a device that determines whether or not a parrot is telling the truth. Your lucky holiday is April 6th, Plan Your Epitaph Day, so plan a good one ("ASHLEY PARKER, PRESIDENT OF SPACE, DIED AT AGE 700 OF EXTREMELY HOT MAKEOUTS").

Topics: Life
Tags: astrology, horoscopes, slideshows, the future, predictions, april

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