16 of Yesterday's Weirdest April Fool's Internet Pranks
April Fool's Day—a Christmas for marketers, who instinctively start drooling when think of their potential to pull a prank on the world. They're planning next year's April Fool's Day as we speak. That's because to them, it's not just a day of trying to get your older sister to wet her pants, it's a day to increase brand recognition and make more $$$$$. So that your thought process might be first "Darn that Netflix!" And then evolve to "I'm going to go sign up for Netflix!" (Please note that Sparky taking over SparkLife was not a prank, it was more of a hostage situation.)
Here are the 16 best/worst/srsly? April Fool's Day pranks that were rolled out yesterday. If you actually fell for them, you might want to make a calendar alert for next March 31. The note should say TRUST NO ONE. And that will be your mantra for the day. That way, you won't be tricked, but you can still enjoy the creativity of the pranks and laugh at those who really think there is such thing as "bacon mouthwash." (But then again, maybe there is bacon mouthwash. See below.)
1. The White House
Calling it a "special announcement from Barack Obama," The White House got in on the fun with this video of that cute little President-in-Training that has been making the rounds on the daytime TV circuit. If you were tired enough, you miiiiiiiight think it was Mr. Obama, especially because that is probably exactly what it sounds like when Mr. Obama makes fart noises with his mouth.
Bogged down by the tiny font on your iPhone RunKeeper? Now there's a RunKeeper for your iPad, that takes the GPS-based run tracking capabilities of the iPhone and puts it on the big screen. It looks iike a really like a huge digital bib that would definitely get annoying and sweaty and maybe barfed on during any sort of light jog. (It actualy turns into a digital running bib, too, during races.) Actually, this one seems like something people would actually buy. Especially if it "perfectly builds nutritious meals on the go" as it promises.
Google wanted to really get you this year, thrice as hard, and started by announcing that YouTube will shut down. They then introduced Google Nose, a smell search feature they called "the new scentsation in search," which featured odors like airport terminal, used napkin and garlic breath. And to cover all their bases, they next rolled out "Treasure Maps," based on a pirate map they say they found in the Indian Ocean during an "underwater Street View expedition."
Twitter accounted their new move to charge tweeters $5 a month for using vowels. As if the English language wasn't already being demolished enough, as it is. Thank goodness this is a prank! Our children's children need to know how to speak with vowels!
Seamless dropped their new "Deluxe Delivery" service, which allowed customers to choose an "adonis, supermodel, or drag queen" to deliver their food. Oddly enough, it was suggested that you could actually bring the adonis into your home (for tea and crumpets? A game of Patty Cake?) or ask the supermodel out on a date (because harharhar nerds ordering Chinese Food in the middle of your War Craft battle, like that would actually happen.) Yet, people were fooled.
Skype announced Skype Into Space, where Skyping while on a space mission can finally be a realized dream. Several features were rolled out, like "Automatic video rotation", allowing useres to be viewed right-side-up even if gravity had turned them in other directions, "extreme gravitational resilience", which works through gravitational fields that don't even let light through, and "additional language support", which translates the languages from "any new life forms we come across." If we were in space, our top concern would be not creaming our pants, not being seen right-side-up on our pal's Skype screen.
Because "sometimes a guy’s favorite pair of jeans aren’t guy jeans at all," Bonobos brings us "Girlfriend Jeans," which takes what women love in jeans, and offers it to men. "Turns out, men and women's bodies aren't actually all that different." You know that some jackals out there who are totally trying to get their hands on these. People will wear anything.
8. Virgin Airlines
Virgin was understandably "thrilled to announce" the world's first glass-bottomed plane. Maybe this one will actually happen one day. So you'd better cut that nude-trampoline-ing-in-your-backyard habit you've taken up, just in case.
To enhance your viewing pleasure, Netflix unleased some new movie categories, which might be helpful to some incredibly niche audiences. Categories include "Movies That Are In English But Still Require Subtitles" (Bloody Sunday), "Reality TV About People With No Concept Of Reality" (Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Jersey Shore), and "Movies Starring Fruits, Vegetables and Fungi" (Bananas in Pajamas). Always forget about that Bananas in Pajamas thing, keep meaning to watch it.
10. College Humor
College Humor threw up a pay wall, which said, "Before you dismiss the idea as ludicrous, know that we empathize with the financial constraints that plague our nation's youth, which is why we're graciously offering a wide array of subscription plans at varying prices." One of the options: a $5,000.00 flat fee for a cameo in the annual CollegeHumor Offline show at the Gramercy Theatre in New York City.
How many times have you said to yourself, "this situation would be better if I had an unlimited amount of puppies right now"? Instacart is fighting that need, offering a service that let's you pick a puppy (or puppies) from their vast inventory, and Instacart will deliver your puppy within one hour. That, right there, is when people should have known they were being pranked. Have you ever tried to calm a puppy down enough to put it in a shopping bag and bring it across town? That takes more than an hour. We heard a rumor that Cruella DeVil was so excited about this, she strained a muscle in her cigarette holder.
12. U.S. Military
A U.S. military news release announced that it's start training cats and integrating them into the military police to cut down on military spending. Looks like Grumpy Cat has already been hired.
Scope advertised a bacon-flavored mouthwash ("for breath that sizzles"), but never actually admitted that this was a prank. They even took out a half-page ad in Monday's USA Today. Bacon dental floss already exists, so we say, "meh."
Online baking service Simple announced their new CA$H$IMPLE technology, that allows you to take a photo of a wad of cash with your phone and instantly upload it to your account. If you fell for this one, we have to wonder, whhaaaaat? Take a reality class in school next semester, maybe.
Sony rolled out their Animalia line of technology products specially designed and created for pets. The Sony K9 4K TV provides the perfect television experience for dogs. It has only two buttons—one for "play" and another for "Skype" so they can have face time with their owners. The Sony M3-OW KittyCans are really just kitty headphones that play Tom Jones's "What's New Pussycat?" and "Look What The Cat Dragged In" by Poison. This is just silly. Everybody knows that cats like to rock out to HIP-HOP ONLY.
16 .TripAdvisor and SniqueAway
TripAdvisor and SniqueAway offered the vacation of a lifetime: Aunt Gerdie's House! "One step through the squeaky screen door and you’ll know why you came to Aunt Gertie’s House: character. A screen-porch dining area allows for suburban views of Mr. Wilson’s hourly leaf-blowing demonstration, while sampling freezer-to-table fare is perfect for practicing that “Mmm, I swear it’s good” face. An outdoor above-ground pool makes enjoying the unkempt landscaping that much easier. And when it’s time to retire (like most of the permanent residents), “guest rooms” with Twin beds that “aren’t that bad” make anyone wonder how the term “bed” can be used so loosely." Uhhh, we'll just go to our Aunt Gerdie's house, thanks. She's weird, but she's family.
What was your favorite and least favorite prank?