No Butts, Just Period.Sparkler Post
I guess I will begin with this.
I don’t know about you darlings, but I was not made to be a girl.
Don’t get me wrong, I love men. Love, love, love ‘em (hence my beautiful picture), but I was not made for the wonderful things that go along with being a girl.
Manklers, if you’re a real man, don’t you dare stop reading.
I am talking about the wonderful time of the month where you desperately hope there is some absorbent material stuffed in your bathroom, purse, backpack, or bedroom.
Yes, I’m talking about The Period.
“Oh, God” some of you say, “She’s bringing up the unspeakable –on the internet, on our beloved SparkNotes!!” *cue: horror movie scream*
Well, you see I’m tired. I’m tired of guys seeing my feminine products and saying “Gross! Ew, look at her, she’s a freak.” As if somehow it is my fault I have to use them! Yo, I am how I am!
So, this is to all of the females, who have and who are experienced in the menstrual cycle.
- To all of the females who have frantically ran to their bathrooms -cursing when discovering they’ve run out of tampons or pads,
- To the girls who’s flow is so intense that they are constantly racing to the bathroom, fearing the worst,
- To the girls whose face break-out in an unstoppable-uncontrollable-freakish manner,
- To the girls whose lips swell up, cracking and bleeding,
- To the girls who bloat, feeling fat and unconfident,
- To the girls who experience abdominal muscle cramps that ruin their day,
- To the girls who throw up because they are in such pain,
- To the girls that silently endure pain that they’ve been cursed with every month,
- To the girls who take ridicule than a man will never have to.
I honor you.
Any brave Mankler that is still reading this, I salute you. You may come away reading this having more respect for the females of your species.
We endure such a blood draining (see what I did there) burden every month, and what do we get for it? No medals of honor, no respect, no help –disgust. We are looked down on as disgusting, because we have somehow been destined to have this terrible affliction every month.
*cue: Aretha Franklin*
“R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it's like to be!” - A girl. (Yes, I know, she doesn’t actually sing that; just go with it.)
What do the men have to deal with? Childbirth? No. Pregnancy? No. Morning Sickness? No. Mother Nature? No. The “First Time” when thoughts of death run rampant through the mind? No. Criticism of carrying and using feminine products? No. Having to stick absorbent material up one’s body? Nopity-nope-nope!
We females do. And to think that we are called the lesser sex! Last time I checked, our “Hoo-Ha” can take a bigger hit than their “Hoo-ha” can. Ladies, we can put them on the ground with one foul swoop/kick/punch/throw . . . ! You get the idea.
So, Manklers, next time you think of regurgitating at the thought of a female bleeding for a week, remember this -it's not our fault, we feel uncomfortable already, and we most definitely would love to not have to deal with The Period.
To finish this wonderful rant off, I would like to dedicate this “SparkLife Post” to all females out there; and to further educate the men of this world the Manklers of SparkNotes, feel free to comment with your worst “The Period” story. Personally, my story involves a two hour bus ride, a cute ginger boy, and a light colored dress.
Post away my angels!
*I apologize if any of you are offended my “Uploaded Image” but I chose it in great hopes of cheering some down-and-out Sparkler*
Originally published on March 23, 2013.