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10 People You'll Meet in Your Freshman Dorm

10 People You'll Meet in Your Freshman Dorm

By Sissy

When you finally arrive at your college dorm this fall, you should fully expect to cry. Why? Because your parents are leaving you alone with a bunch of weird strangers, that's why! The dorms are full of all kinds of wack jobs—but don’t worry, there are plenty of normal, nice, interesting people there too, and hopefully those people will be your roommates. And now, the 10 people you're definitely going to encounter in your freshman dorm!

The girl who tags along for everything. We can guarantee that there will be a girl down the hall who will force her way into every single one of your planned outings for the first two weeks of college. During this period of time, freshman do everything in large groups, so it’s kind of OK (but it can also be immensely irritating). You’ll feel obligated to let her tag along with you everywhere, even though you can’t stand the smallest things about her: the way she says “Wisconsin," the way she chews her food, and the way she insists on calling you "Big Tuna" in front of your new crush. ARGHHH.

The girl with the huge birthmark on her forehead. There's always someone with a unique and inescapably conspicuous facial feature that you just can't help but stare at. It's awkward.

The “expert drinker.” Since this guy went to like a whopping four parties in high school, he considers himself to be the top partier of the freshman class—kind of what Andy Warhol was to Studio 54 in the old times, only far bro-ier. He’s constantly texting to see “what’s up for tonight” and is always speaking in ultra-stupid college vernacular with words like “wasted” and “brew skies.” Avoid him—, and anyone else who calls himself “the king of the keg” in his "About Me" section on FB.

The twins who are nothing alike. You will probably only know one half of this pair at the beginning, since these independent free spirits may not even live in the same dorm. At this point in their lives, they are trying to establish their own identity. One will probably be a pre-med student, while the other is an artistic soul who's not quite sure what her major will be—maybe Women’s Studies? Oh, and you will have a favorite. Duh.

The guy who doesn’t want to do anything. No matter what, there will be always be someone on the floor who just doesn’t want to get involved socially. He won’t go on a campus tour before the first day of classes with the other nerds and he won’t grab lunch with the group because all he wants to do is play video games and Skype his girlfriend on the West Coast. You won’t mind that much because his dorm kinda smells weird and he hasn’t accepted your friendship request on Facebook.

The girl you want to be. You kind of harbor a crush on this girl because she's really pretty in a natural, hipster-ish way and she's extraordinarily well-read but still knows how to talk to other human beings. She has the nicest laugh, great legs, and she wears skinny jeans and combat boots and red lipstick everywhere just because she can. (If you tried that look, people would think you were dressed up early for Halloween.) The girl you want to be will have a cool hobby, like underwater photography or loom-weaving, so pretend to take an interest in this to make her become your friend.

The kid that can finally smoke cigarettes all the time without getting caught. You know where to find him. He’s always outside, even in the rain, sitting on a bench in front of the dorm.

The guy who friends every girl on Facebook. This guy is on a mission to get some action—so he thinks it's a good idea add all the girls in the dorm as FB friends, even if he has never spoken to them. If you accept his friendship, be prepared to receive Facebook chats from him at strange hours of the night, asking if you want to "come watch a movie."

The girl in love with the RA. Just know she has NO chance at landing him, unless she's totally super hot. RAs are about to graduate and generally don't want to start up something with a youngin’. Plus, it's probably against some sort of moral code. But you could maybe convince one to make out with you on the DL.

The people who always take your laundry and leave it on the floor. If you don't switch your laundry to the dryer the SECOND the washer stops, you will soon meet the people in your dorm who don’t give a crap and drop your clean or wet clothes in a pile on the floor. These people suck. Try not to become them.

Are you scared of these people? Excited to meet them? Think you might be one? We want to know your thoughts about your soon-to-be dormmates below!

Topics: Life, College Advisor
Tags: annoying things, college, dorms, college life, meeting new people, annoying people, types of people, funny lists, dorm life

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About the Author
Sissy

Sissy is a woman/girl who lives, works and eats too much popcorn on the north side of Chicago. Bet you couldn't guess that her real name is actually not Sissy, but it's what her family likes to call her by. Also, She's loud and is very glad you can't hear her.

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