When it comes to girls, men believe a lot of fictional information, either because their heads are made of actual wood (fact) or because they all want to be famous magicians when they grow up (also totally true). Here are 20 things that have been floating around in the peanut sized-brains of our male-counterparts (again, fact) that just aren't true—at least for all of us.
1. It takes money to impress us. Not true, guys (unless, of course, you have no other redeeming qualities). If you want to wow us, use your brain. We'd rather be impressed by how much you're paying attention, not how much you're paying.
2. We can’t do math or science. Just like boys, some of us are challenged when it comes to math and science, but this has nothing to do with not having a wiener. Face it, sometimes girls are just as smart, if not more articulate, than guys.
3. We all love pink. Generally, most of us could live without it. Though we do appreciate it in small doses, like in Jolly Rancher form. Watermelon rules!
4. We don’t fart. Sorry, but we do. We totally do and all the time—on trains, buses, in beds (sometimes under covers), in exercise classes, and in line at stores. You smell that? It’s called equality.
5. We don’t take poops either. Girls experience this biological function as well. We poop just like you do, often while reading books and magazines. Sometimes, some of us even bring our laptops to the lavatory and contemplate having a sandwich while sitting there.
6. We’re not good at driving. While we ladies get a bad rap for driving, we think this has nothing to do with gender; it’s about age. Do you really think you dudes are better drivers!?!? This is real life and all sixteen-year-olds usually suck at driving.
7. We dislike it when guys play video games. Not only do we like video games, but we’re also better at them than you are. We just don’t play as much, because we have better things to do, like plan our weddings.
8. We’ve been planning our weddings since childhood. In the movies, the girls always talk about the weddings they’ve been planning since they could talk. But not every girl cares about all those details. Some of us are thinking about other things, like attending graduate school.
9. We can’t be as good at sports as you. Excuse me, but have you seen a girls' fast-pitched softball game? Do you think you could handle that windmill technique?
10. We’re afraid of bugs. Not true. Once my friend popped a cicada right in her mouth like it ain’t no thang. We like all sorts of “scary things,” like movies with killers—we'll even offer our boyfriends a hand to hold during the terrifying scenes.
11. We are boy crazy. We care a lot about other things, like who's coming back for next season’s Downton Abbey, college applications, and preservation of certain forests in the United States. We don’t spend hours fawning around on fainting couches, languishing over the affections of men. In fact, there are days that pass without thinking about any guys at all.
12. All girls want to get married and have children. Some of us have tried babysitting, and it scared the crap out of us. We’re the type of girls who have never had the urge to play with younger cousins or hang out with the neighbor’s baby. That doesn’t make us unfeminine—it just makes us baby-haters!
13. We don’t want to pay for anything. If we really like you, we’ll want to hook you up with some swag, like a movie or a date at Potbelly. While there's something nice about a guy offering to treat, we modern ladies like to make it more equal.
14. We actually shave our legs. How else do you think we keep our legs warm in the winter while wearing skirts and tights? We like our leg hair like we prefer our novels—nice and long.
15. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend. Pretty sure a girl’s best friend and most prized procession is her actual best friend. That being said, diamonds are pretty sweet.
16. Girls only want to date hot guys. We love people with brains, feelings, opinions, and personalities. We’re open to people we’re attracted to, and not just in a physical way.
17. We all like wearing heels. Some of us actually like being able to walk like a regular human being. Forget those stilettos; we generally prefer flat boots so that we don’t fall on our faces. Also, for the record, we don't wear heels when we're shopping—no one ever gets cute to do serious spending. If you're doing damage, then you're in sweatpants and sneakers.
18. We take orders from the guys. Maybe in the old days it was kosher for the women to do whatever her man said, but that's not the deal anymore. Even when we’re just in our teens and dating, we don’t think we need to listen to everything you say—we’re supposed to be friends, not your slaves!
19. Our rooms are very clean. Glad you guys think we have it all together, but the truth is we don’t. We leave our underwear all over the floor. We eat candy bars in bed and leave the wrappers in our sheets. There are clothes on the ground, papers piled in corners, garbage that needs to be taken out, and a bed that always, always needs to be made. Why don’t you take a crack at making it for us?
20. We always mind our manners. Sometimes, we wish this one were actually true. However, more times than not, we have to kick ourselves for letting out a big belch during dinner with grandma and chide ourselves for eating salad with our fingers. We like doing gross things, too!
Which assumptions about girls bother you the most?