Skip over navigation

The Official SparkLife List of Things That Should NOT Be Green for St. Patrick's Day

The Official SparkLife List of Things That Should NOT Be Green for St. Patrick's Day

By RG Daniels

March 17th means St. Patrick's Day has arrived and with it comes the celebration of all things green. We give a mighty shout out to our readers of Irish heritage and welcome all to participate in the festivities. Stay safe, but above all else, play it cool when it comes to flooding your life with the color green. Here are some things that are best-left un-greenified:

• Your feet

• Mom's tuna sandwich

• The neighbor's dog

• The sky over the entire state of Tennessee, and only Tennessee

• Selena Gomez

• Eggs and Ham (seriously, it sounds like fun, but it's a terrible idea…)

• Your bottom teeth

• Grandpa's moustache

• Grandma's moustache

• Horses

• The Liberty Bell

• '90s teen sensation, Jonathan Taylor Thomas

• French onion dip

• That girl who borrowed your iPhone charger

• Mars

• The Simpsons

• The tears you shed at your friends' St. Patrick's Day party 'cause your crush didn't show up and there isn't really much of a party going on and now you are just sitting alone in a McDonald's drinking one of those Shamrock Shakes

• The Canadian flag

• Will Smith's daughter

• Sushi

• The entire left side of that Wal-Mart five minutes away

• An above ground pool filled with Pepto Bismol

• Australians

• Your clothes (Just kidding! Green 'em up! Happy St. Patrick's Day!)

Topics: Life
Tags: holidays, lists, st. patrick's day, green things

Write your own comment!


Write your own comment!


About the Author
RG Daniels

RG Daniels is a writer living in Brooklyn, NY. He likes ‘90s one-hit wonders, breakfast for dinner, and koala bears. He is currently on Level 163 in Candy Crush.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.

From Our Partners