It is a truth universally acknowledged that a Sparkler Post that starts with a Jane Austen quote must end up as something pretentious. This one won’t. I promise. Today I am presenting to you a proposal for something that has often emerged among the comments on the OT and other posts, the idea of a SparkCon, the chance for Sparklers to get together and meet each other in real life, no different from a Comic Con or Television Con, except it’s for Sparklers only. Now, this idea has often been brought up and proposals have been drafted, but this article will try to go into depth in certain areas and present a solid approach to a well-wanted event.
What? I think I’ve already explained this question. SparkCon would be an opportunity for the great and wonderful people known as Sparklers to meet face to face. As SparkLife is a safe community, there is no great danger in this at some point, as I highly doubt any creepy thirty year old men are stalking us (except maybe Dan). Major points for SparkCon have already been laid out in articles like this one, which I shall be referencing, but what has to happen includes Sparkitor forums and a trip to the fabled SparkNotes HQ (as well as perhaps the infamous IHOP nearby).
Where? New York. Duh. That’s where HQ is, that’s where everything seems to be these days, so of course it would take place in New York. And yes, I know there are a fair amount of overseas Sparklers, but we shall come to that in a minute. The actual Con would most likely take place in a convention center or hotel somewhere near to HQ, but, as mentioned, an HQ tour is a key prerogative.
Who? You, of course. All the Sparklers and Manklers and Sparkitors: Auntie SparkNotes, Dan Bergstein, Chelsea Dagger, Josh Perilo, Reid Faylor…I could go on but any Sparkitor or Splogger would most likely find a way there. Even Phil the Tech Guy might be there.
What about Gary and the Darklers? Shush. Speak of the devil and he shall appear, don’t and he won’t. Besides, Gary’s retrapped in the RLC these days and as long as no one opens Ghostbusters, he’s not getting out any time soon.
What about music? Would we get musical guests? Yes! This is a great idea, we could have SparkStock on some old farm and it would be great as long as no one took the brown… Wait, scratch that. As mentioned in the original proposal, we would like to get Green Day, AC/DC and Ed Sheeran. However, as these people may be busy making records and generally being too famous for us, I put forth a clever solution: We hire an indie New York/New Jersey band that sounds good. After watching them, we spread the word. Pretty soon, bam, we’ve just created our own fun. and we can all be hipsters about it.
Celebrity Guests? Why sure. I’m sure it would please a lot of Sparklers if we could somehow get Benedict Cumberbatch, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Matt Smith, David Tennant, Tom Hiddleston, and/or Martin Freeman to show up, but again, they might be a bit busy. However, John and Hank Green have been suggested and does anyone really see them not coming to a thing like SparkCon? Because I don’t. Besides, there’s a lot of famous people buggering around New York. Surely one would pop in.
When would SparkCon be? Didn’t you read the title? Summer 2016. Now before you jump in response to this, hear me out. The majority of Sparklers are in high school or college. By the summer of 2016, this majority will have graduated high school, be eighteen, and have some sort of income source. This would allow all the Non-New Yorkian Sparklers to get there without the hassle of accompanied minor status or the hassle of parental veto. As legal adults, SparkCon would work a lot better. And to all the Sparklers in middle school, this is only the inaugural SparkCon. If it works, there will surely be more. And 2016 is by no means stone-set. It’s tentative.
The Big Question: Financing: If you didn’t know, SparkNotes is owned by Barnes and Noble, one of the biggest book sellers in the world who not only take in a lot of money through stores, but also (I’m assuming) a fair amount from ads on SparkNotes. They could easily pay for the kind of thing we’re requesting. However, I feel we should have some sort of fundraising say in the matter. It doesn’t have to be much, something like simple t-shirts with the SparkNotes asterisk, the printing of a limited autographed run of The Complete Blogging Twilight, or the release of Geek Quiz: The Complete Series (once it’s finished of course…Josh). I am also suggesting that any money raised in these sorts of ways would go to provide scholarships for flight tickets, especially for the Sparklers who don’t reside in America. Everyone who is a Sparkler is a Sparkler and if there is to be a SparkCon, problems like distance shouldn’t stop us.
These are the cards as I see them. I lay them on the table in front of you for your perusal, approval, disapproval, and suggestions. If we are to ever make this work, it must be a joint effort. Sparklers may be some of the greatest people on the Internets (at least better than the Twilight fanfic writers), but together, we are more than we could ever be alone. Thank you for reading this and please, leave any comments below.
Originally published on March 13, 2013.