Hey, girls. It's time for a gabfest, a thing that we ladies love. Now, let's imagine we're designing our dream tablet. What would it look like? Gotta be pink, right? Totally, because colors like blue and gray make our lady eyeballs hurt. What apps would come pre-loaded on it? Hmm, let's take a look around our rooms for inspiration. What do we see? Yoga mat, rolled up in the corner. Recipe books EVERYWHERE, because we don't want our dads, brothers, and boyfriends to go hungry. Makeup, perfume, and cute, flippy skirts covering every surface...OMG, good thing they make apps about all of these things!
The above is apparently what happened when the team at Eurostar did a "What do women want?" visualizing exercise before developing the new ePad Femme, which bills itself as the first tablet for women. What does it mean when a generally unisex product is designed specifically for women? Never anything very good.
The woman-centric tablet has a pink background and features a bunch of condescending apps straight out of the box, on topics including pregnancy, exercise, and clothing sizes. But don't worry! According to a marketing representative at Eurostar, the ePad Femme isn't sexist. Because...well, because they say so.
So instead of complaining about the ePad Femme, we'd like to propose a totally not sexist follow-up product: the ePad Bro. Designed specifically for men, it's going to be the world's first football-shaped tablet, with built-in AXE Body Spray dispenser. The apps will all have names like "NUTCRUNCH!" (gifs of guys getting hit in the nuts) and "Boobz" (self-explanatory), and the back of the device will feature an airbrushed image of a woman wearing cowboy boots and a fur bikini.
If that goes well, we'll release the ePad Old, for grandmas who don't want to get behind the times. It's just a leather-bound book with the word "TECHNOLOGY" written on it, and when you open it, there's a bag of Werther's Originals inside.
It will retail at $299.
What do you think of the ePad Femme: totally ridiculous or boldly innovative? (Our sarcasm hand was raised on that "boldly innovative" part.)