Critiquing the Hunger Games: Catching Fire Portrait of Finnick Odair
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire has revealed the portrait of Finnick, in which the handsome Odair gives a quotidian wooden chair an injection of HEART-THROB STAIN IN CHEST-nut.
Here at SparkLife, we commend the sTRIDENT likeness of the District 4 victor. Specifically, we would like to applaud:
Finnick’s chest. What’s that we see writ large across Finnick’s pectorals? vICtORy. Also, as we all know, sea animals don’t have chest hair: score one verisimilitude.
His sarong. We love that Finnick has been captured fresh from the pond in his light summer linen top and emerald/grubby-chic leopard-skin sarong, tied snugly around his Phelpsian torso.
His puka shell necklace. You know what says beach-ready? Blond tips. You know what says “beach-ready in 1993”? Puka shell necklaces. These shells were no doubt scouted by a deep diving Finnick in happier days.
Finnick’s jawline. Couldn’t you just slice open a snapper on that jawline? It is a jawline that says: “Ladies, I’m open for business,” but also “I may have TMJ and/or be sieged by a private sadness.”
Those eyes. Finnick’s eyebrows sit like a jungle canopy over the alert peeping orbs that live below, searching for an answer, a hope, a prize.
We just have one question: Is Finnick making eyes at us? We are never going to last until November to see this thing.