11 Myths About Wisdom Teeth
So you're getting your wisdom teeth out? Don't be nervous? Be proud! It's what all the cool kids are doing these days, and not that you easily give in to peer pressure or anything, but don't you kind of want to be like the cool kids when it comes to this, maybe? Plus your mom is making you. But before you get all nervous, read these myths and the real truth about wisdom teeth. Your wisdom is growing stronger, eh?
Myth 1: Since you can't feel your mouth after the surgery, you can and should bite the inside of your cheeks because… isn't that crazy how you can't feel anything?
Fact: You might not be able to feel the bite at first, but when the pain killers wear off, you will. This will also make your cheeks bulge more.
Myth 2: You should alleviate pain by lathering yourself with whipped creme.
Fact: It doesn't alleviate pain, but by all means, go ahead. It meets all the requirement of your liquid diet and YUM!
Myth 3: Lesser men get crazy, but you will be totally fine when you awake from the procedure and your mom drives you home.
Fact: Be warned—you might say things like "Sorry I peed on your Redbook magazine the other day... it was me!" or bawl like a baby or make really odd cards for people with inspiring messages on them and wake up and say, "what Loony Toon made THESE?" (It was you.)
Myth 4: You can only eat milkshakes.
Fact: This actually isn't true, but don't tell your parents. Surviving on milkshakes for a few days is the least you should get for all of this nonsense. (Seriously—can't modern medicine do something else about these unnecessary teeth? Like poof them away with a magic wand?)
Myth 5: Your dentist will give you your wisdom teeth after the surgery so you can wear them on a necklace and be a little bit more like Ke$ha.
Fact: That's false, just… unfortunately false.
Myth 6: Wisdom teeth were given their name because they hold all of your wisdom, and when your doctor rips them out, congratulations! You're a dummy!
Fact: They got their name because they start to sprout up around age 17, when we all start getting so darn wise.
Myth 7: You might wake up during the surgery.
Fact: You probably, really probably won't. Good night, little one. Sweet, freaky, Percocet-induced dreams.
Myth 8: Wisdom teeth are like opinions, everybody's got em.
Fact: 35% of the population never develops wisdom teeth.
Myth 9: You might have to gargle some salt water.
Fact: That's actually true. But if you get good, you can entertain flower-bearing guests with your gargle rendition of "The Star Spangled Banner."
Myth 10: Chipmunks are ugly.
Fact: They are FREAKING ADORABLE.
Myth 11: Getting your wisdom teeth out sucks.
Fact: Pain killers, attention, relief from all responsibility, the opportunity to say "don't blame me, blame the meds," and endless milkshakes? Worth it.
Have you had your wisdom teeth out? What happened?!