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13 Gym Class Pickup Lines

13 Gym Class Pickup Lines

This is the moment you’ve been waiting for your whole life, or at least since the 8th grade Snowball Dance. The apple of your eye is smiling at you and you’re smiling back. You feel confident, love is definitely in the air, but it usually doesn’t smell this musty. Unfortunately, not all love connections are made in a romantic setting; sometimes romance is born inside the womb of a high school gym class.

Here's what you say to make your move in PE:

1. Hey stud, you play your cards right, I’ll get you two tickets to the gun show. (Then, take out actual tickets a real gun show.)

2. I like the way you stretch.

3. This gym class is an elective and I would like to elect you as vice president of my heart.

4. You look like the man of my dreams, but after that run, you smell like the man who lives in a house made of garbage.

5. I have trouble running because of my asthma. Sometimes, it helps if the person I’m telling that to kisses me on the lips.

6. Let’s see how many chin ups we can do, or, better idea, let’s become boyfriend and girlfriend.

7. I heard the last gym teacher was fired because while the students were running on the green, he would walk into the locker room, go into their wallets and steal money from them.  Let’s hope you don’t break into my soul locker and steal my heart. Or break into my actual locker and steal my money. Either way, I’m not going to be happy.

8. This gym class is an easy A, and so am I.  Wait... I don’t think I did that right.

9. Boy, I can’t believe you’re expected to do more exercise!  You’ve been running through my mind since, at least, pre algebra!

10. I’m really into cats.

11. If you go on a date with me, I'll take off my knee pads.


13. What’s say we put the PHYSICAL in physical fitness!  (Then start crying.)

Topics: Life
Tags: crushes, school, lists, gym class, pickup lines

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About the Author
Anthony DeVito

Anthony DeVito is a NYC based comic. Originally from New Jersey, he was featured as one of the "New Faces" at the 2012 Montreal Just for Laughs Festival, recently taped a Gotham Comedy Live on AXS TV, performed at the 2013 Bridgetown Comedy Festival and 2013 SF Sketchfest, and is also the former host of "Say What?!" on the NOC TV. You can follow him on Twitter @anthonydevito_

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