How to Be a Blogger
Duke University is starting a program to train female bloggers interested in writing about gender issues. The Write(H)ers program will include workshops with journalists and feminists, and see participants put out three blog posts a semester. Of the 23 students in the program, one is male.
Now that we have the applause out of the way, we here at SparkLife thought we'd add our own advice for how to be a blogger.
- Sunlight is for making raisins, not for bloggers. Your skin should be brighter than your monitor.
- If your F key falls off, a button will do the trick. In fact, pop off several more keys, and post a picture of your crafty keyboard to Pinterest.
- If you have 30 minutes to write a post, spend 29 minutes eating a burrito and watching GIFs, and the last minute trying InStyle hairdos. Then, go to your "EMERGENCY POSTS" folder and retrieve "Pez dispensers we would like to see.doc."
- Be generous with your BAMs.
- In the blogosphere, Joseph Gordon-Levitt is canonical.
- Watching T-Swift music videos counts as research.
- Professional writers aren't afraid of using emoticons. O_o
- If you aren't suffering for your art, you're not sitting on a Fitball.
- If you are writing in a library or study room, set your font to green Courier New and your background to black, and read your post aloud as you type, like they do on TV, and as I am doing right now.
- Never end a post with a "Conclusion." Always end with "and then the corn dog mascot and I bounced around in the jumping castle until we threw up."
- Blogging about rompers is just like investigating a murder, except most murders only have one victim.
- When your parents are like "blogging isn't journalism," tell them, "Yeah, and 'CATS ON KEYBOARDS' will never be a newspaper headline!" You both win this round.
- Bloggers sometimes wear suits. But mostly wear Snuggies.
- Blogs can lede the way, but newspapers can't LOL.
- Journalists are all "I'm going to blow this story wide open!" while bloggers are all "I <3 you guyz."
Any other tips for aspiring bloggers, SparkLife corps?