Five Symptoms of Senioritis
After almost four whole years of going to high school, this last semester is proving to be the worst EVER. Now that you are on the last leg of your high school tour, it's become more and more challenging to motivate yourself, get out of bed, and sit in classrooms, day after day. We hate to be the bearers of bad news, but you might be suffering from senioritis. If you are suffering from at least four of the five symptoms described below, we prescribe a healthy dose of sunshine and jellybeans. (Yeah, there's not much you can do to cure it.)
Symptom #1: Exhaustion. You find it extremely difficult to get out of bed. Your parents have to angrily yank your sheets away and yell, "YOU ARE GOING TO MISS THE BUS." You take more sick days during spring semester than you have during all your previous semesters combined, if you can fake a good enough pandemic for your parents to believe, or if your mother agrees that second semester doesn’t count towards anything, and frankly would like some company on her errands once in a while.
Symptom #2: Physical decay. Your looks suffer as you complete the transition from fresh-faced freshman to sad old senior. While you haven’t wrinkled or aged much, you have dark bags under your eyes, and a pale, washed out complexion. You once took pride in your appearance, but now you wear the same stained jeans, old white gym shoes, and inside-out sweatshirt every day. You've cut down to weekly hair-washing, and bi-weekly showers.
Symptom #3: Listlessness. Every time homework is assigned or a test is announced, you have a strong feeling of IDGAC (the medicinal acronym for “I don’t give a crap”). You seem to have lost your will to study and learn, even though you were once an A-plus student who did nerdy things like play in a badminton league after school, and not because your mom forced you to, but for fun. Since you're a Sparkler, it's likely that you're still managing to pull good grades during your senioritis spell, though you're not highlighting as many paragraphs, and the study guides you create are no longer color-coded; you just don’t know how to fail tests.
Symptom #4: Pain. Your bones ache after almost four years of carrying a 15-pound backpack full of heavy tomes. You slouch in class, and sometimes doze off. Physically speaking, you're a wreck.
Symptom #5: Forgetfulness. You've grown lackadaisical about the commitments you were once so passionate about. If you're a state champ point guard, you ditch basketball practice to look at prom dresses. If you're in the school musical’s dance chorus, you sneak out at 12:30 p.m., forgetting that you have dress rehearsal, which doesn't matter, because you've also forgotten all of the moves. You end up performing the Macarena throughout “No, No, Nannette” because that’s the only dance you remember.
What symptoms of senioritis do you have? Are they curable, or are you destined to be a slacker until you hit college?