The DOs and DON'Ts of Spending Valentine's Day Alone
February 14th is a day you either pine for or dread. Whether you're single, in a relationship, or in an imaginary relationship, you can't avoid the red hearts and sugary teeth-rotting treats everywhere.
If you have plans for today, stop reading and go get ready!! What are you doing?? Tonight has to be PERFECT!!!
If not, congratulations. You're proof that societal emphasis on romantic relationships is grossly exaggerated! Way to be independent!
Now normally, I couldn't be happier to be alone. After all, I'd much rather chill at home with sweatpants and no makeup than worry about looking "presentable" for some guy. But for some reason, being single on Valentine's Day is seen as a bad thing (SPOILER ALERT: It's not.). If you're feeling a little grumpy because everyone's stupid, here's a guide for getting through the day.
DON'T: Watch animated Disney movies. Any other day I would encourage you to pop the old cassette tapes in the VCR and reminisce about your childhood, but not today. You're angry, either at the world for only giving affection to the few, society for putting too much emphasis on cheap store-bought romance, or your crush for not returning your 249 text messages (all haikus on how it's meant to be). The last thing you want to do is hate on fairy tale romances when you're not your normal self. Don't take away the magic of Disney by emotionally shouting at your screen "When's MY Prince Charming going to come?!?!" or "Oh yeah, she WOULD get Eric to marry her without saying a word, wearing nothing but a shell bra! SLUT!!!"
DO: Watch Pixar movies. Almost every Pixar movie is about friendship or family! And after all, that's the love that really counts. But be prepared to fast forward through the first eleven and a half minutes of Up if you wish to avoid crying.
DON'T: Eat out/get take out. No matter where you go, you're gonna spot couples eating out everywhere. There's no need to be constantly reminded of your single status. If you get takeout or fast food, that's even worse! Your server will unfairly judge you even though s/he has no plans either.
DO: Cook your own meal! Your goal for today is to not leave the house (except for school and work). You have the opportunity to eat anything you want! You finally have an excuse to test out Buddy's spaghetti recipe! Don't waste that chance.
DON'T: Eat a whole box of chocolates. The sugary substance will only taste bitter in your mouth if you eat it out of anger. Trust me from experience, the tears and regret you feel while cramming your mouth with sweets leaves a horrible aftertaste. You won't find the answer to your problems on the bottom of a heart-shaped cardboard box.
DO: Wait to do that tomorrow. Half-price chocolate always tastes better.
What are you up to this Valentine's Day?