I am a homeschooler. Y'know, those kids that never see the sunlight and when they do, they get all vampiric and hiss.
The sad thing is, that happens to me all the time. Sunlight hurts me.
But that's not the point!
If anyone is the Queen/King of procrastinating, it would be a homeschooler. Just think about it: staying at home all day, doing homework. That's me! During elementary homeschool, some days I didn't lift a finger to do any work. I just played games. All day. Talk about procrastinating! Junior high is way more difficult but I still somehow find time to procrastinate a lot and still get my work done. In factoids, right now I am supposed to be doing Latin, which is a dead language. It just sounds too dangerous for me right now. My mother/teacher is always in a different room so I’m doing homework, with a computer and an iPod at my disposal, unsupervised.
I have created a lil' schedule about what my day is like:
7:00am – Pfft. I don't have to catch a bus. Just 5 more minuets. Then I'll get up and be productive.
8:30am – Breakfast. I can take my time. It's not like I have to rush to class.
9:00am – Whoops! I was supposed to start at 8:00! Better check my e-mail, SparkNotes, Tumblr, DeviantArt and fanfiction. Just to get that out of the way so I won't waste any more time on that.
10:00am – Oh no! I only meant to do that for 15 minuets!
10:15am – My mechanical pencil is quite an interesting piece of technology.
10:30am – I probably didn't need to play those “few” games of doodle jump...
11:00am – I should start on my work.
12:00pm – Well I did get out that nasty Latin. I even answered 10 questions. I'm hungry.
1:00pm – Lunch time was over 30 minuets ago. Time to get back to work and kick some homework butt!
1:30pm – But that cat video was so cute!
2:00pm – Alright, I finished 2/5 paragraphs for the essay. I deserve a break.
2:30pm – Breaks over. Oh, wait! I forgot to check my email again. And my Tumblr. And I did want to read that one post on SparkNotes. (the last one for today I swear!)
3:30pm – People are getting out of school by now. But I have all this work to do! What happened to “I will definatley NOT screw up this time!” vow I made last week? Oh well. I can always finish up the work for today later.
4:00pm – Okay, before I do anything else I will get this work done!
4:30pm – Good job Sappira! You drew Asia! You drilled the capitals! You deserve both a snack and a break!
5:00pm – How am I not fat?
5:15pm – Okay, I guess I'm not getting out of this work until dinner. Ugh, 45 more minuets. I should check everything just to pass time.
6:00pm – Yes! Finally!
7:00pm – Mom said no TV until I have my work done. I only have my science, literature, rhetoric... I didn't get barely anything done. I'll do the rest of it after just one TV show. My favorite Avatar the Last Airbender is on! Adios, schoolwork!
10:00pm – In my defense, I didn't know that The Avengers would be on. I'll just do all of the left-over work tomorrow. I'll try extra hard. I won't get distracted by anythi- hey! Did someone just favorite my drawing?! Awesome!
That, Sparklers, is an average day with an extremely lazy homeschooler. I swear, each week – sometimes daily – I catch myself promising that I’ll try extra hard next week. One time I almost took an unbreakable vow. Thank goodness I don't know how to cast that spell. I'd most likely die.
Do you think I need professional help? I do. Let me know in the comments when to call up my procrastination therapist.
Originally published on February 11, 2013.