The alphabet is tedious and boring as it stands,
So we've rewritten it here for you Harry Potter fans.
Don't think that we're braggarts or trying to be obscene,
But we think it's as good as a Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Bean! (Except for the snot ones. And the grass. And vomit.)
A is for Avada, which starts a bad curse.
B is for Bellatrix, who only gets worse.
C is for Crookshanks, scratching at Fawkes.
D is for Dumbledore, enjoying his socks.
E is for Expelliarmus, a mouthful to say.
F is for Filch, let's keep well away.
G is for Gringotts, and goblins, and gold.
H is for Hogwarts, its halls dark and old.
I is for Incendio, which lights all the lamps.
J is for Jelly Slugs, sold at Honeydukes.
K is for Knuts, twenty-nine in a Sickle.
L is for Lupin, who finds the moon fickle.
M is for Myrtle, moaning away.
N is for Nicholas, his head there to stay.
O is for Occlumency, to keep prying minds out.
P is for Portkey, to transport about.
Q is for Quirrell, his turban suspicious.
R is for Riddle, overambitious.
S is for Snape, who's misunderstood.
T is for Tonks, fighting evil for good.
U is for Umbridge, hem hem, hem hem hem.
V is for Voldemort, who made Horcruxes seven.
W is for Wizard, Warlock, and Witch.
X is for Xenophilius, and his house full of kitch.
Y is for You Know Who, about which none is said.
Z is for Zonko's, now in Hogsmeade.