Benedict Cumberbatch: Ugly, Weird, or Super Handsome Great?

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Benedict Cumberbatch will be among the biggest stars of 2013, and his die hard fans have already set fire to the computer upon reading the headline. But hopefully a few Cumber-heads have stuck around long enough to answer this question: What’s the deal with Benedict Cumberbatch?

Why is he so popular? Why does the internet think he’s the hottest guy of them all? What am I missing?

While it’s rare for me to impugn someone’s beauty, when I see the entire internet frothing for the likes of the Mr. Cumberbatch, I’m curious what women see in him? (Acting ability and charm, aside.) Whatever he's doing right, I want to do also! So yeah...I'm jealous!

Perhaps you can better explain the appeal.

Here’s what I see:

His face is that of a weasle, with eyes so beady they belong on a bracelet you make at camp. When not looking as if he urgently needs to use the restroom, he looks as though someone just asked him a very difficult question and he refuses to admit he doesn't know the answer.

He’s tall, so I can see how some women would admire that, but he’s as lanky as Ichabod Crane (not the Johnny Depp version). Granted, I have never watched Sherlock, so I only know him from still photos. Perhaps when he moves, his hotness is revealed. Maybe he has a sexual, graceful gait.

Or maybe girls just like ferret-faced brits.

So what gives? And don't look at me like that. If everyone in the world were honest, I doubt I would be the only person asking this question. I know this opinion is in the minority, but surely some of you agree with me, right?

Now I know what many of your are saying. “Dan, you’re a stupid ignorant guy who doesn’t know what sexy is.” Fair enough. I am a guy, and maybe Cumberbatch’s sex appeal is invisible to me. But for the sake of comparison, let me list a few popular actors who I think are handsome. (And yes, I am straight!)

Zac Efron
Joseph Gordon Levitt
Bradley Cooper
I even understand why that guy who played Loki is melting hearts. (His smile is the bow on the gift that is his face.)

But Cumberbatch? I don’t see it. I just don’t see it. I hereby challenge you to defend Benny’s Beauty!