CONFESSION: I did not watch the Grammys last night.
I was too busy Googling "puppies that fit in teacups" and looking up recipes for homemade water (Dan Bergstein cruelly and intentionally led me to believe that such a thing existed, and it took me several hours to realize that I'd been duped. CURSE YOU, BERGSTEIN. ONE DAY I SHALL HAVE MY VENGEANCE). But despite my failings as a pop-culture aficionado, I still feel prepared to pass judgement upon the outfits of the celebs who attended last night's award show, because A: I've done it before, and B: I read Josh's live blog of the whole thing, which is basically the same as having sat in the front row between Beyonce and Jay-Z (except less annoying, because YOU KNOW those two were playing footsie all night).
So, with yet another of my largely off-topic, only-semi-humorous intros out of the way, LET'S GET ON WITH THE SHOW.