At the end of every fall, we tend to welcome winter with open arms—after all, it brings the promise of freshly fallen snow and a disgusting amount of presents, and presents the opportunity to use mistletoe to trick your unsuspecting crush into making out with you. But at some point, after you’ve wrestled the holiday lights down off the roof, worn gaping holes into all your new winter clothes, and shoveled out your driveway for the 273rd time, you may notice that the snow has begun to turn black with soot and sand—and so has your heart. Take our quiz to determine whether you’re slipping into a mid-winter slump ,or if you’re ready to bundle up in your raggedy sweaters and brave a few more blizzards!
1. When you spot a house in your neighborhood with lingering holiday lights, you:
a) Shed a single, icy tear at the thought of having to wait another 10 months for the holiday season.
b) Wonder if the homeowners in question got the memo that it’s almost Valentine’s Day, and Christmas light rave shows are no longer in season.
c) Decapitate their stupid front-yard snowman with one swift swing to the head to send the message that their holiday cheer is no longer welcome ‘round these parts.
2. At the first sign of snowfall, you can be found:
a) Twirling about in a fit of ecstasy while giggling maniacally and trying to catch snowflakes on your tongue.
b) Preparing to offer your obligatory shoveling services to your parents and arthritic neighbors with the help of our handy how-to guide.
c) Running around the yard like mad with fiery newspaper torches in each hand, trying to melt all the falling flakes before they can stick to the ground.
3. When you head to the mall to shop and see that spring clothes are already on the racks, you:
a) Moan in protest—you were hoping to snag a few new sweaters to mix up your wardrobe for the second half of winter.
b) Bust out your Michael Jackson moonwalk in the middle of the mall in celebration of shopping for a whole new season of threads!
c) Collapse to the ground and break into heaving sobs knowing that it’s only a sales gimmick, and warm weather is still at least three more months away.
4. These days, your wardrobe consists of:
a) Cozy sweaters and furry boots accentuated with a coordinated hat and scarf set.
b) Lots of layers to allow for the possibility of an unexpected heat wave (but you draw the line at zip-off pant/capri/shorts).
c) An oversized, wooly muumuu, which you fully realize may be the wardrobe equivalent of telling the world that you’ve totally given up.
5. On days when the temperature hits record lows, you can be found:
a) Skiing, snowboarding, sleighing, snowball-hurling, snow-angel-making—basically any activity that involves being immersed in the frosty frigidness.
b) Curled up by the fireplace in your Snuggie while sipping on a steamy cup of hot cocoa.
c) In your room with the heat cranked up all the way, rockin’ a swimsuit and shades while tearfully singing along to Katy Perry’s California Gurls.
If you answered mostly A’s:
Your enthusiasm for winter makes Santa Claus seem like he could be the long lost overweight twin brother of the Grinch. You’ll make it through the remainder of the season just fine, but we’re a little worried that once the snow begins to melt, you may experience a meltdown of your own.
If you answered mostly B’s:
You can stomach a couple more snow-filled months if you really have to, but you definitely have your sights set on warmer weather (and we think you made that abundantly clear when you moonwalked through the mall while shopping for spring clothes. Pump the brakes, Lord of the Dance).
If you answered mostly C’s:
It’s normal to start growing tired of winter around this time of year, but it seems like you might be skidding off into the deep end of the snowdrift. Spring will be here soon enough--in the meantime, chin up, buddy, and put that ice pick down before you hurt someone. Seriously.
Are you still in love with winter, or are you regularly beheading neighborhood snowmen with a homemade axe?