I was thinking about abstinence yesterday, and I was trying to justify it from a non-religious perspective (since I'm a Christian and it seems that people don't like listening to Christians (or they don't like Christians at all)) and also without talking about health risks.
I compare abstinence to cake. Yes, cake. Cake is REEEALLY tasty, right? Well let's say you've never had cake before and now you have the option to either eat cake now or make cake and patiently wait for it to be done. If you eat cake now, it'll still be "special" and tasty. You'll want more. But maybe you don't want THAT cake, you want a marble cake with blue frosting instead of chocolate with white (no this isn't an ethnicity thing, I'm just trying to come up with words to type). That will also be tasty, and then you move on to white cake with green frosting. Even though it's tasty, it's just not as special as the second one. Come to think of it, the second one might not have been as special as the first one.
Now let's say you make your own cake. You spend a lot of time on this, carefully crafting it with your own hands, making sure the ingredients are just right. You put it in the oven and wait a while. When it's done, you take it out, you look at it, and you sigh. "Ahh, I made this." You start eating it. All the while, you're savoring each and every bite. The next day you eat some more of your cake. It's as tasty and as special as the first time because you made it yourself. You think to yourself, "Man, am I glad I waited for this cake."
The same principle goes for sex.
You want it and you want it now, all the time. So what do you do? You go find someone who also wants to have sex and is at least mildly attracted to you (enough to want to agree to it), and you go do it. Fun, right? But was it really all that special? Or maybe you DID know this person for a long time, and s/he was your girl/boyfriend. But when you break up, you think, "I wish my first time hadn't been with that jerk."
But now let's say you wait to marry somebody. This is somebody who is committed to being with you, someone who loves you. When you have that first dance together, it's the most wonderful time in the world. You've waited forever, holding back, wondering if it was even worth it... but now, you know why. It was worth it to share this physical and emotional ecstasy with the love of your life. If they've waited for you, it makes the moment all the more special.
I'm either not going to get much attention or I'm going to get a lot of angry faces made at me, but please, just consider this at least a little bit when thinking about abstinence.
Originally published on January 31, 2013.