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The 10 Worst (And Cheap) Valentine Gifts

The 10 Worst (And Cheap) Valentine Gifts

By Bailey_Swilley

Do you hate your Valentine? Do you want to be dumped on the big day? Do you enjoy being passive-aggresive about your relationship? Then check out our list of the world's worst Valentine gifts.

1. Your Report Card
Save money by making your own Valentine's card...or recycling. Any card will do, right? Let your anti-crush know what a superstar or slacker you are with your best or worst report card. If it's a good report card, you're showing off. If it's bad, then you're also kind of bragging. If it's a mediocre report card, you're just being weird.

2. Baby Teeth Art
Ask your parents, er tooth fairy, for your old baby teeth. They probably have them and if not, just use anybody's baby teeth. They don't have to be your own. Make a cupcake sculpture out of Play Doh, bake it, and then glue the teeth on as "sprinkles." If your Valentine questions the gift, just scream, "Pinterest!" and that should explain everything.

3. Dust Bunnies
Take the dust bunnies from under your bed and put them in a plastic bag marked, "Magic Baby Rain Clouds."

4. Teddy Bear Fur
Shave a teddy bear and then put the fur in a jar. Leave a note that says "I can bear-ly stand you!"

5. Half of Your Sushi From Yesterday
This gift is kind of thoughtful. Buy some sushi and enjoy most of it. Then give your lover the leftovers. Make it romantic by feeding the sushi to him as lovers feed each other grapes.

6. A Cold
Sure, your Valentine may hate you for this, but simply lean in close and whisper, "I made it myself." How thoughtful!

7. Some Mayonnaise Remains Mixed With Some Ketchup Water
This is just plain disgusting, but you could call it "non-toxic edible pink paint."

8. Homemade Perfume
Perfume and cologne is expensive, but you can make your own by mixing air fresheners with water. Because this present might be confusing and ahead of its time, it's best to just splash your new "smell juice" on your date without asking.

9. Lunch Soup
Don't pretend you don't know what this is. Combine everything on your lunch tray, including liquids like milk or fruit punch. Mix it up and hand the whole tray over to your Valentine...with a sassy wink. Be playful! That's what makes love so much fun!

10. A Nail Polish Wreath
Save all of your cotton balls after you remove nail polish from your fingers and toes. Get a paper plate. Cut out the middle and then glue the different colored cotton puffs around the edge to form a colorful, weird-smelling wreath.

What's the worst present you gave a Valentine?

Topics: Advice
Tags: relationships, holidays, valentine's day, dating, love, frenemies, crush, valentine's day 2013

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About the Author
Bailey_Swilley

Bailey Swilley is a writer, web production editor, and musical improviser living in Brooklyn. She's passionate about puppies, pop culture, and pastries.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.