On Sunday night, the biggest names in entertainment will come together to help celebrate the year's best music at the 55th Annual Grammy Awards. Some stars will present awards. Some stars will win awards. Some will clap and grimace uncomfortably as they don't win awards, silently thinking "I should totes be up there thanking my mom right now." Some will even perform. And—since it's an awards show—you can count on them rolling out a bunch of surprise performances, like that time Aerosmith played with Kid Rock. That was weird, right? Anyway, here are the four surprise collaborations we're hoping to see during Sunday's Grammy Awards—and the one we just won't tolerate.
Justin Timberlake (cue squeals): The former *NSYNC frontman has finally made his triumphant return to music. He dropped a big 'ol dressed-up bomb on the Internet last month with his single Suit & Tie, which features Jay-Z—but Hova isn't the conspirator we're hoping to see. Picture this: JT comes out and starts with the new number, just like everyone expects. But, instead of Hov droppin' his verse, Britney Spears shoots up from underneath the stage. JT breaks into Cry Me a River as she busts out the throwback Oops!...I Did It Again, and we all cheer and cry simultaneously. They exit stage right. Hatchet: buried.
Taylor Swift: Awww. Girl next door/heartbreaker extraordinaire, Taylor Swift lit up the charts in 2012 (and, like, right now) with her latest album Red. At the Grammys, we hope she sings I Knew You Were Trouble because, hello, SKRILLEX. T-Swift will come out and nail the first half of the song, obvs. Then, at the end of the second verse—right as you jump up and hip bump your dad for the BASS DROP—"Hold on. Ima let you finish, but..." KANYE WEST, everybody. When the bass finally drops, it's the start to "Hell of a Life." He raps and Taylor Swift belts out the chorus. Mic drop. You're welcome, world.
Jack White: Okay, so, Blunderbuss is rad and all, but we're all secretly holding our breath for a White Stripes reunion, right? He comes out, plays a few bars of Sixteen Saltines or I'm Shakin' and then—BOOM—spotlight hits Meg on the drums. Seven Nation Army or bust.
The Lumineers: They Ho Hey'd their way into our hearts, and now they totally need to enlist the help of JC Chasez—because everything's better with a little bit of *NSYNC. Plus, homeboy's been practicing.
The one collaboration we can't abide: Anyone + Chris Brown. The Grammys should have a strict "No Chris Brown" policy. If he starts to perform, you are contractually obligated as a Sparkler and as a human being to change the channel. Twilight will be airing on ABC Family, and Love & Basketball will be on BET, so we've got some serious options here, folks.
Which Grammy collaboration would you love to see?
EDITOR'S NOTE: Mike Bertha is our newest writer. He has a phenomenal head of hair and a fairly hilarious Twitter feed, but other than that, there isn't much to like about him.