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What Your Favorite Letter of the Alphabet Says About You!

What Your Favorite Letter of the Alphabet Says About You!

By Josh Sorokach

Here's an important question, Sparklers: What's your favorite letter of the alphabet? If you replied "S," great job, you handsome son-of-a-gun! If you answered "5," "exclamation point," or "Phoenix, Arizona," I advise you to seek medical attention or at the very least take a nap, because those answers don't make any sense. Now let's see what your favorite letter of the alphabet says about you!

A: Good news: People who love the letter A tend to be related to royalty. Bad news: By "royalty" I mean this guy.

B: You love a good conspiracy theory, but your belief that the television series Psych is one big elaborate treasure map is a little far-fetched. Or is that want they want us to believe?

C: You're the world's GREATEST apple bobber, but you often hustle your apple-bobbing competition by pretending that you're allergic to water. You sly fox, you.

D: You will become the most successful mayor of all time when you outlaw making the bed in the mornings (the "Chicago Bed Ban of 2042"). Your "Why Bother" argument gains world-wide appeal and leads to the complete obliteration of frivolous bed-making.

E: You possess the ability to time travel, but you use your power not to correct the wrongs of the past, but to kidnap Will Ferrell so you can steal the role of Buddy the Elf. Fair warning I WILL NOT TELL YOU MY FAVORITE COLOR.

F: Your personal motto is "Dance like nobody's watching." But we are watching, and you should definitely think about taking some dance lessons.

G: Due to a hilarious misunderstanding with an ornery bridge troll named Gonzo, you and Emma Stone will be Freaky Friday'ed!

H: You possess a sharp legal mind that you will one day use to create a law making arrogance illegal. You'll be so proud of your own handy work that you will be promptly sent to jail.

I: You're attracted to Frankenstein. That's cool; nobody thinks less of you, but if you're going to listen to Monster Mash 20 times a day, please give our ears a break and use your headphones.

J: If you were born just 100 years earlier, you have been the first person to combine peanut butter and jelly. In this era you're the first, and last, person to combine Cinnamon Toast Crunch, milk, and tuna fish.

K: You'll hokey pokey like nobody's business. but you refuse to SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT. You're not an animal.

L: You possess the rare gift of "Joke Telepathy." When someone says "knock knock," you refuse to ask "Who's there?" because you already know.

M: Psst, hey lovers of the letter M. I know you're secretly writing a prequel titled The Good Gatsby starring The Rock, and here is my review: A +++++.

N: You love to create fictitious lyrics for television theme songs and post them on Youtube.

O: You will become a world-renowned, best-selling author when you write the book, "1001 Cool Computer Passwords." Unfortunately, your success forces you to change your computer password 1001 times.

P: You are going to become a millionaire! Sadly, you will lose all your money when you think to yourself, "Fortune cookies: good idea; fortune broccoli: great idea!

Q: You’re in love with someone who truly adores the letter U.

R: You're the type of person who practices their Christian Bale Batman impression in the shower.

S: You're the type of person who measures their self-worth by subtly mocking restaurant chains on Twitter.

T: Fans of the letter T, I’d like to introduce you to the best man or maid of honor at your future wedding.

U: You’re in love with someone who truly adores the letter Q.

V: In the year 2073, elderly music groups will be all the rage. You will become a member of the popular sixth generation musical old man band, "Six Directions."

W: You have a deep affinity for naming inanimate objects. An ordinary toaster? Not on your watch. Please refer to it by its proper name: Dr. Burnt Breadington.

X: Odds are that at some point in your life, you'll have a tattoo of a cartoon character or lightning bolt on your ankle.

Y: You will become this generation's Dr. Seuss writing such classics as, Flummoxed Frank is Allergic to Waffles! and Gary Gobbledygook: Underwater Detective.

Z: You have the sharp mental ability and physical prowess to become the next Spiderman. Unfortunately, you are not bit by a radioactive spider, but you instead kissed by a mermaid, turning you into... a person who briefly dates a mermaid, but ultimately breaks up with them because of their inability to leave the water.

What's your favorite letter?

Topics: Life
Tags: quizzes, personality types, funny things, funny lists, what your ____ says about you

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About the Author
Josh Sorokach

Josh Sorokach is a comedy writer living in New York City. He's a former American Idol winner, three time Olympian, and habitual liar. Follow him on twitter @Joshsorokach.

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